Happy Tuesday. On this day in 1945, Mia Farrow was born, giving her approximately 41 years until she was too old for Woody Allen.

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THE POLLS IN THE STATE OF NEW HAMPSHIRE, site of tonight's first presidential primary (and as white as a Christmas episode of Little House on the Prairie), have been remarkably predictable and repetitive, much like Marco Rubio.

BERNIE SANDERS HAS BEEN LEADING the Democratic primary for months and FiveThirtyEight’s “polls-plus” model gives him a “greater than 99% chance of winning the New Hampshire primary,” which is about equal odds to today being Tuesday.

DONALD TRUMP HAS A 70 PERCENT CHANCE OF WINNING according to the same model, which was exactly equal to the chances of him eventually calling one of his opponents a “p**sy” in public, something that literally, actually happened on Monday night.

BUT THIS IS NEW HAMPSHIRE, where independents can vote in either party’s primary and voters are famous for waiting until the last minute to decide whom they will strategically support as an F-you to the rest of the nation. So be prepared to be shocked.

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AMERICA FINALLY HAS A FEMALE LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST – sort of. It’s as close as we’re going to get. It’s like 77 cents on the dollar of a late-night talk show.

SAMANTHA BEE'S FULL FRONTAL debuted Monday night in primetime, at 10:30 on TBS before Conan, which makes it not quite in the same time-slot as the Jimmys of the world. But we’re going to have to take what we can get. And in this case, it’s quite good.

BEE WAS A BREAKOUT STAR ON THE DAILY SHOW for twelve years before being offered her own show. In man years that’s like between seven and eight years, which is how long John Oliver and Stephen Colbert were correspondents before being offered their own shows.

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IT TAKES ABOUT EIGHT YEARS, but America tends to forget how much Bill Clinton hates to lose.

OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS, he's ripped Bernie Sanders for his honesty and treatment of women, which is an interesting critique for him to make because he's Bill Clinton.

IT'S BEGINNING TO FEEL A LOT LIKE 2008, with an ahistoric insurgent candidate threatening the remarkable inevitability of Hillary Clinton’s candidacy and Bill Clinton’s defensiveness creating a snowball effect that draws people to her opponent’s bandwagon.

THE QUESTION REALLY ISN'T if Sanders is enough like Obama in 2008 (they are very different). The question is if the Clintons are too much like the Clintons in 2008.

YES, CHIPOTLE GAVE OUT FREE BURRITOS because it was closed Monday for lunch. But it was closed for food safety meetings to train employees to prevent the further spread of E Coli. Yum.

JUNGLE BOOK—More than 260 snakes, monkeys, lions, tigers, bears and other exotic animals have escaped from captivity in Florida over the past decade, a News 6 investigation reveals. Authorities believe that most of the creatures, like most residents of Florida, were trying to avoid child support payments.