Happy Tuesday. On this day in 1986, the first PC computer virus was released and your uncle still thinks his VCR has it.

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THIS WEEK, REPUBLICANS SUDDENLY became some big old fans of Democratic Socialism.

“BERNIE MOPPED THE FLOOR WITH HILLARY,” the New York Post's John Podhoretz wrote after Sunday night's debate, exclaiming that the Senator from Vermont had not only eaten her lunch “but gobbled up her breakfast and dinner, too,” which is old people talk for “He did good!”

REPUBLICAN FLACKS were also reportedly pushing pro-Bernie talking points to reporters like they were Hillary Clinton’s lunch.

“DOES IOWA REALLY WANT WALL STREET IN THE WHITE HOUSE?” a recent ad from Karl Rove-backed American Crossroads is asking Iowans, in an act of the trademark hypocrisy that has made Karl Rove into Karl Rove.

REPUBLICANS SEEM TO THINK SANDERS WOULD BE EASIER TO BEAT. It's adorable that they still trust their instincts, given their track record of being wrong about everything from the Iraq War to Climate Change to Ted Nugent.

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SPIKE LEE AND JADA PINKETT-SMITH announced they will be skipping this year’s Academy Awards on February 28. This would upset the Academy voters who nominated black actors for an Oscar this year, if any actually were nominated.

ON INSTAGRAM, director of the recent Chi-raq, said he cannot attend the “lily white” Oscars, which has not nominated an African-American for an acting role since 2014, back when the ceremony was only “eggshell” white.

PINKETT-SMITH'S VIDEO CALL FOR A BOYCOTT of the ceremony has already been viewed more than 4 million times, which is likely more times than the Oscar nominated performances from Carol, The Room and 45 Years have been seen combined.

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DONALD TRUMP'S AMAZING GRASP OF BIBLICAL LITURGY may have impressed someone — Sarah Palin, the former running mate of John McCain who now hates... Donald Trump.

THE BILLION DOLLAR BABY has said that he has a very special announcement scheduled Tuesday in Iowa, and many are speculating that it's the former Alaska governor who will give Donald the nod.

PALIN HAS PREVIOUSLY BACKED BOTH TED CRUZ AND MARCO RUBIO, who are not that rich. But we'll see if, like many evangelicals, she’s been won over by Trump’s faith-backed plans to deport grandmothers, bomb civilians and build walls on Muslims.

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IN THE U.S., THE AVERAGE LIFE EXPECTANCY FOR A MAN is nearing 79 years old, apparently unless you play a guitar.

THE EAGLES' GLENN FREY DIED ON MONDAY at the age of 67 of rheumatoid arthritis, colitis and pneumonia, which were also names of lesser-known early 80s LA punk bands.

FREY'S DEATH FOLLOWS THE RECENT PASSING OF DAVID BOWIE, who succumbed to liver cancer at age 69 after five heart attacks, and Lemmy Kilmister of Motörhead, who died at the age of 70 just after learning that he had cancer.

SCIENTISTS MUST IMMEDIATELY TAKE SAMPLES of whatever combination of nicotine, Elmer’s Glue and beef jerky has congealed inside Keith Richards and get it to Aretha Franklin, 73, Paul McCartney, 73, Paul Simon, 74, Bob Dylan, 74, Smokey Robinson, 75,  Willie Nelson, 82, and Chuck Berry, 89, who you likely did not know is actually still alive, which is probably the best news you’ve gotten in awhile.

NO, NEW YORK IS NOT INSTALLING PUBLIC MASTURBATION BOOTHS. Those are supposed to be ATM machines.

REST IN SPACE—Astronomers have named a lightning bolt-shaped constellation after David Bowie "in the vicinity of Mars." They were going to do it when he was alive but they thought it might blow his mind.