Happy Wednesday. On this day in 1954, Dwight Eisenhower warned against American intervention in Vietnam. Someone should have made a note about this. Like with an asterisk.

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WE ALL FEARED THIS WAS COMING: Donald Trump has now won an election in the country you live in. And it could happen again.

"WE'RE GOING TO BUILD A WALL. It's going to be built. It's not even – believe it or not – it's not even a difficult thing to do," Trump said, in his victory speech that underlined his appeal to people who like walls, hate foreigners and love billionaires who think they’re scurvy-ridden morons.

OHIO'S JOHN KASICH FINISHED SECOND, and Ted Cruz finished third, securing his role as the candidate of the “burn the New Yorkers in hell” wing of the party. Jeb Bush seemed to think fourth place was a huge victory for him, even though he was born in third place.

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BERNIE SANDERS DEFIED EXPECTATIONS by kicking a little more ass than anyone expected, with a 20+ point win in the New Hampshire Democratic Primary Tuesday night.

“TONIGHT, WITH WHAT APPEARS TO BE A RECORD-BREAKING TURNOUT, because of a 'yuge' voter turnout – and I say 'yuge' – we won," he told supporters in Concord. "We harnessed the energy and excitement that the Democratic Party will need to succeed in November."

NOT ONLY IS HE NOW THE FIRST JEWISH PERSON ever to win a presidential primary, he’s also the first Democrat to win a Democratic primary less than a year after joining the party, which is either a little rude or hard core, depending on how you like to party.

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AFTER DAYS OF PRETENDING that his horrible debate performance on Saturday night wasn’t a nearly Rick Perry “oops”-quality meltdown, perpetually pre-programmed Marco Rubio became contrite on Tuesday evening.

ALL IT TOOK WAS COMING IN FIFTH PLACE in the New Hampshire primary – or as Team Rubio calls it, “second third place.”

“I DID NOT DO WELL ON SATURDAY NIGHT. That will never happen again,” he told supporters, in a speech so sad it could have been an Adele song.

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AFTER BEYONCÉ MADE A POLITICAL STATEMENT AT THE SUPER BOWL so strong and good that it made Rudy Giuliani appear to spew nonsense, Kanye West was maybe feeling a little underappreciated.

ON TUESDAY NIGHT, he decided to weigh in on one of the great issues of the day with great insight and subtlety.

“BILL COSBY INNOCENT !!!!!!!!!!,” he tweeted.

MAYBE HE'S JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF JURY DUTY. Hopefully he’s trying to get out of jury duty.

YES, THE UNITED STATES DOES DEPORT UNDOCUMENTED VETERANS. It has something to do with making America "great again."

NEEDED: CARROTS AND STICKS—The Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is seeking a home for "Atlas" (a bunny that will eventually grow to be 4 feet long). Besides your nightmares.