Happy Friday. On this day in 1973, baseball's American League voted to create the position of Designated Hitter, which has now become an official position at Trump rallies.

IN THE TWELFTH REPUBLICAN DEBATE of an endless season in hell, the challengers refused to attack frontrunner Donald Trump, deciding they would rather end their political careers with a little dignity... or the complete opposite of that – a job in the Trump administration.

WHEN ASKED HOW HE CAN SHRUG OFF CLIMATE CHANGE as Miami, the city he calls home, drowns, Marco Rubio explained that the climate is “always changing,” much like his immigration policies.

RUBIO ALSO VOWED to raise the Social Security retirement age, explaining that asking janitors and plumbers to work longer is the only solution to the dire problem of rich people paying some taxes.

MEANWHILE, IF TRUMP KNEW ANY LESS about public policy, he'd be a Trump voter.

CONSIDER THIS A STARTLING MONUMENT to how utterly and completely unlikable Ted Cruz is.

FORMER NEUROSURGEON AND CURRENT LEECH on the soul of the conservative movement Ben Carson will endorse Donald Trump Friday morning, almost four months to the day that the billionaire compared Carson to a child molester.

"I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING other than pathological is a very serious disease," Trump said in November. "And he said he's pathological, somebody said he has pathological disease."

HE ADDED, "YOU DON'T CURE THESE PEOPLE. You don't cure a child molester. There's no cure for it. Pathological, there's no cure for that," noting that he’d learned this firsthand with his failed business venture Trump Child Molester Cure.

WHILE YOU CAN'T ALWAYS BLAME TRUMP directly when his fans sucker-punch a protester, you have to wonder what’s going on when one of your closest advisors is accused of assaulting a woman because she dared to ask a tough question.

"SOMEONE HAD GRABBED ME TIGHTLY by the arm and yanked me down," Breitbart’s Michelle Fields wrote on Thursday. "I almost fell to the ground, but was able to maintain my balance. Nonetheless, I was shaken."

THAT SOMEONE, SHE CLAIMS, WAS COREY LEWANDOWSKI – Trump’s campaign manager and former executive director of the New England Seafood Producers Association.

LEWANDOWSKI CALLED FIELDS "TOTALLY DELUSIONAL," which is some insult coming from a campaign that imagines it can make Mexico pay for a wall it doesn’t want.

FANS OF THE REALITY HIT PAWN STARS got a peek into the reality behind the reality as 32-year-old Austin Russell – better known to your cousin who collects kazoos as “Chumlee” – was arrested on 19 gun and drug charges.

RUSSELL'S HOUSE WAS SEARCHED as part of a sexual assault investigation that he has not been charged in and would be edited out of this story if this were a reality show.

LAS VEGAS POLICE SAID they found marijuana, methamphetamine and at least one gun in his home, all items that typically come in your Las Vegas Welcome Basket.

RUSSELL IS BEING HELD at the Clark County Detention Center overnight on $62,000 bail, but the best Russell can do is $30,000. Final offer.

• Some Strong Words for Republican Hypocrites
• Our Reaction to RNC Chair Reince Priebus' Introduction to the #GOPDebate
• A Look Inside the Meeting Where Disney Workers Decided to Endorse Donald Trump
• THE DIG'S DEBATE REPORT CARD: Trump Disrespects the Process! Rubio Backs Entitlement Reform! Cruz Triggers My Ear Flare-Up!

NO, METALLICA LEAD SINGER JAMES HETFIELD ISN’T GOING COUNTRY. But he may split with his facial hair over artistic differences.

STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS—Hackers lost $800 million during a heist because they mispelled the word “Foundation,” which is proof that you should definitely hack with spellcheck on.

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