Building positive relationships at work 

Last month we looked at the lost art of listening, and we received  a number of comments about the helpfulness of  the content,  so thought this time we would focus on tips for building positive relationships at work, and indeed in our life.  

It really is true that no one is an island and that connecting with others is  critical in a world of increasing busyness and technology,  where loneliness and disconnection are major social issues.

Building positive relationships takes commitment, time and effort - but it is so worth the investment ! 

What is a good relationship?

There are a number of components that make up good, healthy working relationships:

• Trust                                                    Trust  is the foundation of every good relationship. When you trust your team and colleagues, you form a strong bond that helps you to work and communicate more effectively. You can then be open and honest in your thoughts and actions, and you don't have to waste time and energy "watching your back."
• Mutual respect                          When you respect your work mates, you value their input and ideas, and they value yours. Working together, you can develop solutions based on your collective insight, wisdom and creativity.
• Taking responsibility                  This means being accountable for your words and actions - being careful about what you say, and not letting  negative emotions impact the people around you.
• Welcoming diversity Acknowledging we are all different -respecting and welcoming the opinions of others who may have another view from you. Take time to consider what they have to say, and take their insights into account.
• Open communication              Think about how we come across to others, whether you're sending emails, or meeting face to face. The better and more effectively you communicate with those around you, the richer your relationships will be. All healthy relationships depend on open, honest communication.

Relationship checklist:

When was the last time you:

• Went out of your way to speak to someone you don't know?                                                       
• Said 'Thank you ' to a colleague who helped you or went the extra mile?
• Caught someone doing something right and acknowledged them?
• Apologised when you said or did something that was not constructive?
• Stopped gossip in the office or workplace?
• Turned off your phone and really focused on listening to someone?
• Actively encouraged someone? 
• Had a courageous conversation to resolve an issue?
• Thought about how others experience you as a colleague or manager or employee?

How to build good work relationships

So, what can you do to build better relationships at work?

• Work on your 'people' skills      Good relationships start with good 'people' skills - how you connect with others, genuinely taking interest in them and using good listening / rapport building skills - also how well you work with others, communicate and deal with conflict. 

• Identify what you need from a  relationship                                      Do you know what you need from others? And do you know what they need from you?  Understanding these needs can be helpful in building better relationships.            

• Allow time to build relationships   Allocate a portion of your day toward spending time with others, even if it's just a short while.    For example, say 'Good morning' when someone arrives at work, pop into someone's office during lunch, reply to people's postings on Linked In or ask a colleague out for a quick cup of coffee.  These little interactions help build the foundation of a good relationship, especially if they're face-to-face.

• Be aware of your own emotions   - learn to recognise your own emotions, and reflect on what they're telling you. This helps you to understand the emotions and needs of others.          

• Appreciate others                     Show your appreciation whenever someone helps you. Everyone, no matter what job they do, wants to feel that their work is noticed and valued.  So, genuinely compliment the people around you when they do something well. This opens the door to great work relationships.

• Be positive                                   Focus on being positive  - look for the good in things and for what is right, not just focusing on the negative. Positivity is attractive and contagious, and it will help strengthen your relationships with your colleagues. No one enjoys being around someone who's negative all the time.

• Manage your boundaries             Set and manage personal and relationship boundaries  – all of us want to have friends at work, but, occasionally, a friendship can impact negatively on our role.  If this happens, be clear  about your boundaries, and manage them accordingly.

• Avoid gossiping                          Don't gossip – office politics and "gossip" are major relationship killers at work. If you're experiencing conflict with someone in your group, talk to them directly about the problem. Gossiping about the situation with others will only make the situation worse and will cause mistrust and animosity.

• Listen well                                  Really listen when you talk to your  colleagues. People respond to those who truly listen to what they have to say. Focus on listening more than you talk, and you'll quickly become known as someone who can be trusted.