Happy Monday. On this day in 1923, Yankee Stadium – the “House that Ruth Built” – opened at a cost of $2.4 million, which in today's New York City would make it “The Two-Bedroom Apartment that Ruth Built.”

WHEN HOMOPHOBIC KENTUCKY COUNTY CLERK Kim Davis wanted to meet Pope Francis last year, all she had to do was travel a few hundred miles to Washington, DC for a handshake and a brief audience.

WHEN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE Bernie Sanders wanted the same thing this weekend? He had to fly to Rome at his own expense – and unlike Davis, didn’t even get a Mike Huckabee escort.

THE POPE'S ENCOUNTERS with Davis and Sanders had a lot in common – most notably the lack of an endorsement. But while rumors surfaced that Francis didn’t really know who Davis was at the time he met her, surely the pontiff knows some Sanders fans – given all the young white males who work in the Vatican.

ACCORDING TO THE WASHINGTON POST, this was supposed to a “pretty good week” for Donald Trump – after all, he hired some adults to keep his staff from assaulting reporters, and offered a bland, ghostwritten op-ed to the Wall St. Journal (that managed to not incite global tensions).

BUT OVER AND OVER this week, the GOP frontrunner warned that his party better clear his path to the nomination – whether he secures the 1,237 delegates needed to clinch the party’s nod or not – or something naughty might happen to the Republicans' nice little convention, like maybe some kind of violent uprising.

BUT EVEN IF TRUMP does meet the delegate threshold by the time the convention comes, the party will still likely face some sort of upheaval in Cleveland – given that a sizable chunk of the party has suggested they’d rather bake a cake for a same-sex wedding than vote for Donald Trump.

KHAIRULDEEN MAKHZOOMI, an Iraqi senior at the University of California, Berkeley, was recently asked to leave a Southwest flight for what the airline decided was a perfectly good reason – he was speaking Arabic.

AS THE FLIGHT PREPARED for takeoff, he told his uncle in Baghdad about the chicken he ate at a speech given by United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-moon – when a nearby passenger told the crew Makhzoomi was making “potentially threatening comments.”

BECAUSE IF THERE'S A GOOD WAY to tell a terrorist, it’s by an obsession with poultry and the generous warnings he provides to fellow passengers before committing any terror.

• Ted Cruz in a Tuxedo Looks Like Pageant Frank
• We Will Pay Any Amount of Money to Watch a Sarah Palin vs. Bill Nye The Science Guy Science Debate
• CAFE Exclusive: Donald Trump Paper Doll Kit

YES, BEN CARSON DOES REMEMBER RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. He gets a little reminder of how much it helped his book sales every time he checks his bank account.

WITH REALISTIC LOVE HANDLES—A new “Normal Ken” doll has been released to go along with “Normal Barbie” to give kids a more realistic sense of the kind of man who thinks he’s entitled to a classic Barbie.

Was this good for you? Share it with a friend or sign up at Cafe.com to wake up with all the news you can't possibly live without, in your inbox.

Not yet getting this newsletter?? Sign up now to get the CAFE Morning Shot delivered to your inbox every morning.