Happy Thursday. On this day in 1965, The Who's Pete Townshend on his 20th birthday wrote the lyric “I hope I die before I get old.” He turns 71 today.

DONALD J. TRUMP revealed his Supreme Court short list Wednesday, selecting 11 judges on the qualifications of being conservative, constructionist, and willing to dismiss all claims against him and his businesses.

TRUMP'S LIST OF JURISTS pleased national conservatives, particularly the Heritage Foundation members who wrote it for him, presumably while he was busy trolling reporters on Twitter.

THE LIST IS A DIVERSE GROUP that includes white people from Texas, Minnesota, and Utah – including a white Senator’s brother! Notably absent was Obama nominee Merrick Garland, who continues to haltingly pass through the Senate like a political kidney stone.

THE 2012 REPUBLICAN NOMINEE for president is no longer actively searching for a third-party candidate to take on the likely 2016 Republican nominee for president.

MITT ROMNEY HAS GIVEN UP his search for an independent candidate to take on Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, after he was turned down by GOP senators and rich businessmen, providing yet another group for him to be out of touch with.

A NEW FOX NEWS POLL shows #NeverTrump Republicans are becoming a tiny minority of the Republican Party, and, as a minority, they'll have to assume Republicans will ignore most of their concerns.

LEBRON JAMES has a new endorsement contract from Nike, and it’s due to break the all-time record for payment of an Ohio athlete – even more than an Ohio State booster to a "student-athlete" considering transferring to another school.

THE CONTRACT IS RUMORED to be worth $1 billion, which means James is only a spray-tan and a few vulgar tweets away from a presidential run.

WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO with a billion dollars? Perhaps buy up just about all the commercial real estate in James’ native Cleveland – or better yet, pay 850,000 of the sweatshop workers who actually make Nike’s James-branded shoes.

• Thank You, American Family Association, for Keeping Our Kids Safe
• Newt Gingrich Blames the "Sanders Socialist Bureaucracy" for His Airport Wait Time
• Trump Gets Something Right

NO, DONALD TRUMP DID NOT SAY THAT “PORTUGUESE PEOPLE ARE THE SAME AS SPANISH BUT WITH WORSE WINE.” A more believable tweet would read: "Everyone knows the best wine is served in Trump Tower. I love alcoholics!"

COLD THUMBS—A Saudi husband divorced his wife because she was too busy texting to have sex on their wedding night... which is better than the other common Saudi divorce complaint: "She tried to drive."

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