Happy Wednesday. On this day in 1961, John F. Kennedy announced before a special joint session of the Congress his plan to put a "man on the Moon" before the end of the decade... and a few interns in the pool before dusk.

DONALD J. TRUMP has successfully dispatched opponents from Ted Cruz to Jeb Bush, so now he’s pivoting back to his original political adversaries – the people who attend his rallies.

THE ALLEGED BILLIONAIRE gave his stump speech Tuesday night (come for the rant against Carrier air conditioning leaving America, stay for the murder innuendo about Hillary Clinton), but was greeted by demonstrators angrier than slots players at a Trump casino.

PROTESTERS INTERRUPTED the proceedings, which tend to consist of Trump reading his poll numbers on a nearly continuous loop. So attendees who came to hear the phrase “Crooked Hillary” 26 times only heard it 24, leaving Trump's rally with even more disappointed customers than Trump University.

THERE WAS GOOD REASON TO BELIEVE that the $1 million Trump was supposed to give to veterans would never end up in the hands of any actual veterans. First of all the claim came from a very dubious source: “Donald Trump gave $1 million,” Trump said in late January.

NOW, FOUR MONTHS LATER, the Washington Post decided to see if it could find any traces of Trump’s alleged donation, and found nothing. Trump responded by finally ponying up this week and calling the reporter a “really nasty guy,” which is apparently a synonym for “someone who expects Donald Trump to tell the truth."

IN HIS DEFENSE, Trump points out that that he’s helped veterans out a lot before – mostly by appearing in ISIS recruiting tapes.

HILLARY CLINTON CLAIMED TUESDAY she’s too busy fending off Donald Trump to debate Bernie Sanders on Fox News in California, to which Sanders essentially replied: “Cry me a f--ing river. Can I have some of your delegates?”

SANDERS CONTINUES to press Clinton for a final showdown, arguing that her strengths of inevitability and math can be counterbalanced by the fact that he's actually winning elections.

YET CLINTON STEADFASTLY REFUSES, passing on a rare opportunity to appear on Fox News and be picked apart by the other side, and also Bernie Sanders.

BILL COSBY has finally been ordered to stand trial for allegedly raping one of his accusers after knocking her up with enough drugs to fill Rush Limbaugh’s medicine cabinet.

THE ONCE-POPULAR funny-noise comic has fashioned himself as a moral authority, often chastising black men to pull their pants up while encouraging women of all races to pull them down.

NOW COSBY WILL STAND TRIAL before a jury of his peers – although they won’t be literal “peers” unless lawyers can round up a dozen creepy, self-righteous, pill-pushing sexual predators who, on top of everything else, couldn’t get out of jury duty.

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THERE’S NO PROOF MARK TWAIN SAID, “IF VOTING MADE A DIFFERENCE, THEY WOULDN’T LET US DO IT.” But if he had, hopefully a black person or a woman would have said, “Who’s this ‘us,’ Samuel?’”

STALE SATAN—Peter H. Gilmore has been named 'Maestro of the Church of Satan' after serving as High Priest for 15 years, which is proof that if you work hard, don’t give up and worship the Dark Lord with all your heart, it’s still pretty hard to get ahead.

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