"There is something in the human spirit that will survive and prevail, there is a tiny and brilliant light burning in the heart of man that will not go out no matter how dark the world becomes." These words, by Leo Tolstoy, came to mind when Benita Tait reflected on the entries she judged from last year's Grieve competition.
"I was struck by people's honesty as they shared the story of their loss and grief as well as the messages of acceptance, peace and hope in the midst of their pain and suffering," she said.
Benita was a member of the audience in the first 'Grieve' live reading in Newcastle when the top 20 works are read live by experienced public readers. Benita spoke to Hunter Writers Centre about her work with the Seasons for Growth program and this introduction saw Good Grief - Seasons for Growth become a sponsor and judge of the Grieve competition. The Good Grief Seasons for Growth Award is for a story or poem on grief over an experience other than death.
Benita supports the idea of people entering the Grieve project as an "opportunity to reflect on, express and share their story of loss and grief."
"Acknowledging the reality of one's loss through 'story' and the sharing of our grief experience with others is validating, affirming and offers an opportunity for healing."
Reading other people's stories and poems can be "a deeply intimate and personal space where our own experiences are also validated and affirmed," she said.
As coordinator of the Good Grief - Seasons for Growth program in the Hunter Region, Benita's work involves Companioning (walking alongside) people who are grieving, and training and supporting and supervising others to implement the program.
"We provide information, resources and an opportunity for one's story of loss to be heard and validated."
"Using the metaphor of the changing seasons, the program educates about the grief process, promotes social and emotional wellbeing and develops resilience and emotional literacy."
The role is one that strongly relies on Benita's teaching background, but also her genuine compassion and commitment towards others.
"Having experienced loss at a young age, I quickly discovered that I was passionate about providing support to young people who had experienced significant change, loss and grief in their lives," she said.
Many of us find that dealing with grief or loss is overwhelming, and trying to help our children cope with their own grieving process is fraught, but Benita offers some very practical advice.
"Spend time with your children, communicate with them about what has happened, affirm their feelings, reassure them of your love and support [and] stay connected to extended family and friends."
She also emphasises that we can't help others unless we help ourselves.
"Support a return to normal routine and activities [and] care for your own needs. As a parent we cannot give what we do not have, and trust your instincts."
If you are concerned about the way your child is coping with loss or grief, you can seek additional support or participate in the Seasons for Growth program.