Happy Thursday. On this day in 1953, Secretary’s Day was supposed to be celebrated for the first time, but their bosses couldn't figure out how to order flowers on their own.

TREASURY SECRETARY JACK LEW has bowed to the pressure of Big Musical Theater and will leave the U.S.’s first Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton on the front of the $10 bill.

THIS COMES after early suggestions Hamilton would be removed from the bill, but that was before a musical about his life excited a lot of wealthy nerds.

INSTEAD, GENOCIDAL MANIAC/POPULIST HERO Andrew Jackson will be moved from the front to the back of the $20 bill, which will be fronted by arguably the greatest badass in American history, Harriet Tubman, who will hopefully be shown pointing and laughing at someone wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat.

DONALD TRUMP tells anyone who will listen that he’s worth 10 billion dollars. Research shows the actual number is more like 4 billion. The guy’s a bit of an exaggerator.

SO WHAT FIB is Trump rolling out this week? If you said “delegate math,” come collect your prize! (A 24-pack of Trump® bottled water. But call it a 36-pack because why not.)

YES, TRUMP ASSOCIATES assert he’s going to get 1400 pledged delegates for this summer’s GOP convention (reminder: he only needs 1,237 to win the GOP nomination). But amazingly, he may be right: His massive win in New York shuts down Ted Cruz’s path to victory, and John Kasich inspires Republicans about as much as a scientist.

WHEN FORMER-NFL STAR-turned-mediocre-daytime-TV-sidekick Michael Strahan announced he was leaving ​Live with Kelly and Michael to join ​Good Morning America​, his co-star, Kelly Ripa, was reportedly not too thrilled – and refused to show up for Wednesday's show.

THE FORMER SOAP-STAR-turned-destroyer-of-Regis Philbin only reportedly learned of Strahan’s departure moments before it became public, and is not set to return to the show until Tuesday, by which point Strahan will likely have been offered a dozen more TV gigs.

STRAHAN WON THE SEAT ON LIVE after a series of public auditions that pit him against nearly every white male under 40. Sources are now speculating that either CNN’s Anderson Cooper or Bravo’s Andy Cohen are up for Strahan’s seat – choices that show great diversity as both are nearly pushing 50.

CONGRESS WAS SUPPOSED TO resolve Puerto Rico’s debt crisis by March 31. But it’s late April, just 10 days before the island commonwealth is set to default on $422 million in debt, and the House GOP is doing what it does best – staring into Paul Ryan’s beautiful blue eyes as he flails miserably.

NATURAL RESOURCES COMMITTEE chairperson Republican Rob Bishop reportedly has enough votes to pass the bailout that no one wants to call a “bailout,” but is waiting until his fellow Republicans “feel comfortable with it.”

FAR-RIGHT CONGRESSMAN Raul Labrador told the Huffington Post he only thinks the bill should pass if 150 of the 246 Republicans in the House support it, which is hard because the only bill 150 Republicans in the House would support is one that officially places President Obama on the Terrorist Watch List.

• Why Does Everyone Think Only Presidents Are on Dollar Bills?
• Donald Trump Quotes a Guy Named "Autism" (Maybe)
• A New Book From the Author of Horton Punches a Protester

NO, DISNEY ISN’T REPLACING THE “TOWER OF TERROR” WITH “ELSA’S ICE CASTLE.” But for parents who’ve had to watch Frozen eight million times, they're the same $#%& thing, anyway.

THERE’S THE RUB—Utah has declared porn a “public health hazard” – but will not ban it because that might be the only possible way to make porn more popular.

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