The art of re-invention"I just don't know what I'm doing anymore." That's the answer I gave my friend when she asked the big, "Where've you been? What's going on? How's your new job? I miss
you!" question. There are some decisions that make a greater impact than we expected. Joining &yet
was one of those decisions for me. And it was the exactly right decision. I know this because of both the impulsive YES that came from one of my organs, and also the subsequent mental chaos I've been through since. But chaos is good for me, especially when it's the "complete and utter" kind. It forces me to re-invent myself. To re-define what I believe in and then orient my life around those things. And it's embarrassing.I'm so inspired by the
2012 documentary about artist Wayne White. In it, he says one of the truest statements I've heard..."Beauty is embarrassing." They ended up naming the film after that line. "Beauty is embarrassing" gives me hope. Maybe all of the things I'm embarrassed about –the things I think make me "not enough" in my own mind –
those things are beautiful. I am embarrassed to keep changing, to keep moving, to keep adjusting the sails. And I don't know why. Maybe it's because I want everyone to think I know what I'm doing...that I've figured it out somehow. But I don't, and none of us do, and it's beautiful. So where've I been? Right here, adjusting the sails to make way for a new city, a new job, a new home, and a whole new set of ideas that go along with it. Oh, and I miss you, too. <3, Sarah
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