Happy Monday. On this day in 1873, The Kennel Club – the first official registry of purebred dogs in the world – was founded by humans determined to make sure their pets had sex with the right dog.

RECENT POLLS FIND that 7 of 10 women voters have an unfavorable view of Donald Trump, while the others apparently find themselves charmed and somehow not entirely creeped out by him constantly insisting "I respect women. I love women. I cherish women!" as if being dragged out of a women’s locker room by security.

THIS WEEKEND, in an effort to stop the damage, Trump admitted he probably shouldn’t have insulted Ted Cruz’s wife by sharing a Tweet comparing Heidi Cruz’s photo to a modeling picture of his third wife.

“YEAH, IT WAS A MISTAKE,” he said for the first time in a campaign where he’s backed various war crimes, supported banning a world religion and constantly bragged about his thumb size. “If I had to do it again, I wouldn’t have sent it.”

FOR A FEW MONTHS IN 2011, the entire nation focused on Wisconsin as its new GOP governor sought to punish the conniving villains most responsible for the global financial crisis – public school teachers.

FIVE YEARS LATER, the nation’s gaze returns for Tuesday night’s Wisconsin Primary. And despite governor Scott Walker's longstanding love affair with the ultra-rich Koch brothers, polls suggest his state's Republicans have found a billionaire they don't love, with Ted Cruz leading Trump by ten points.

WHICH MEANS with Walker backing Cruz, Trump is growing particularly anxious – as it’s becoming clearer and clearer that a Canadian foreigner may help steal his job.

BERNIE SANDERS AND HILLARY CLINTON are publicly blaming each other for not being able to come up with a date and time for a debate in New York state before the April 19 primary.

SANDERS CHALLENGED CLINTON to the debate and has opened up an office in Brooklyn, which is the borough where he was born, the home of Clinton’s campaign headquarters and a place that feels like there’s at least one pet named after Sanders on every block.

RESPONDING TO THE DEBATE CHALLENGE last month, the Clinton campaign called on Sanders to change his “tone” before they'd agree to one. But haggling over the event's scheduling has now begun given that everyone agrees Bernie Sanders' tone has likely not changed in any way since his Bar Mitzvah.

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NO, DISNEY HAS NOT BANNED TATTOOS. Unless the tattoo depicts something “inappropriate,” like girls doing something with their lives besides becoming a princess.

HIGH HORSE—A woman was arrested for selling heroin branded with the name “Donald Trump.” It’s probably white, really bad for poor people and imported from China.

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