NEWSLETTER #91/ November 12, 2017

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TRANSPARENCY: PHONY FLAVOR OF THE MONTH

 


I've been traveling and speaking all week. Consequently today's lead piece comes from a recent blog post, lightly edited.

Dear Online Advertising Industry,

I have noticed recently that you have become very passionate about transparency.

 
 

I guess it's because of the black box of ad tech you have created in which no one knows what they're buying, what they're paying, where it's running, or even if it's running. If I were you guys, I'd be pissed-off, too.

- Mark Zuckerberg, you have said you want to bring Facebook to an "even higher standard of transparency."

- Google, you have issued a "Transparency Report

- IAB - you've said "Transparency Is The Key To Programmatic Success"

- Marc Pritchard of P&G, you have given an "...impassioned speech on transparency."

- Keith Weed of Unilever, you have "...demand(ed) more transparency" from digital media.

- Sir Martin Sorrell of WPP, you have said "it’s important to be transparent."

- 4As - you have issued the "4A’s Transparency Guiding Principles of Conduct"

- ANA - you even created and celebrated Transparency Day! (Was there a parade? Did you have a Transparency Eve party?)

It seems like transparency is all the rage in the online ad world. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that talking about transparency is all the rage.

Because I have a problem with this transparency talk. I think you're all full of shit. I think you people are loud and outraged when you can't get transparency but you become awfully quiet when you're asked to provide it.

You see, there's more to this transparency thing than the petty bickering of CEOs and billionaires. There's also the little issue of the relationship between you and us. Or does the public not figure into your idea of transparency? Is transparency only an issue when your money is at stake?

Personally, here's what I (and about 7 billion of my friends) would like a little transparency on...

  • Mr. P&G and Mr. Unilever: I'd like some transparency on the type and the amount of personal, private information about me you have been gathering without my permission by your relentless online tracking.
    • Mr. WPP: Would you mind explaining to me what you and your colleagues in the holding companies are doing with my information?
    • Mr. Facebook and Mr. Google: If you wouldn't mind, I would like to know what kind of personal information about me you have been revealing and selling to your clients. Oh, and if it's not too much trouble, I'd also like to know what info about me you have exploited on behalf of foreign governments.
    • Ms. 4As and Mr. ANA and Mr. IAB: Just curious about who your members have been buying information about me from and selling information to? 

        I hope you will prove me wrong and be open and transparent about what you've been collecting on me and what you're doing with it. Because it seems to me you're very passionate about transparency when you want answers, but not quite so passionate when you're asked to give answers.

        If you're really as committed to transparency as you say you are, I would be grateful for a full accounting. Otherwise, I would appreciate it if you would take your transparency bullshit and stick it where the sun don't shine.

         
         

        CAN'T MAKE THIS UP

        This week, IPG, the world's 4th largest agency holding company which includes agencies McCann and FCB, released a research study that took them a year to complete. According to MediaPost the study revealed that "the longer and more viewable an ad is on a digital screen, the more likely it will have an effect." No shit?

        I think we could have saved IPG a whole lot of work and money by interviewing 3 bunny rabbits and a grilled cheese sandwich.

         
         
         
         
         

        SNAPCHAT TAKES SLAPSHOT

        Snapchat, recent Wall Street darlings, took a big slap to the head this week as its 3rd quarter earnings were a disaster. Bottom fishing for ad revenue, they added an astounding 5 million new advertisers last quarter. I guess that ain't so difficult when you drop your rates by 60%. Discount dentists love that stuff.

        Snapshot is just another example of online advertising turning into electronic junk mail.
         

         
         
         
         

        IF YOU HAVEN'T SAT IN THIS INFURIATING MEETING, THEN YOU DON'T WORK IN MARKETING.

        The BBC nails it in this hilarious spoof of the insufferable clowns that contemporary advertising  has spawned.

         
         
         
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