Happy Monday. On this day in 1986, Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen were born. They'd go on to be the youngest members of the "Full House" cast... and the only ones good enough with money to not have to return for the Netflix reboot.

IN THE WAKE  of this weekend's horrendous mass shooting, as authorities were still identifying bodies and cleaning the blood of 49 killed and 53 wounded at Pulse gay nightclub in Orlando, “congrats” were in order to Donald Trump, according to Donald Trump.

"APPRECIATE THE CONGRATS for being right on radical Islamic terrorism,” the likely GOP nominee tweeted, less than 12 hours after the massacre ended. He then reiterated his call for a “ban” on Muslim immigrants, even though the suspect was the New York-born son of an immigrant -- like Donald Trump.

MEANWHILE, Trump will be giving a speech on terrorism today -- in which he will presumably congratulate himself for accurately predicting that today would be Monday.

TRUMP AIDE Paul Manafort -- whose previous employers include courageous statesmen like Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych, Somali President Siad Barre, and Angolan rebel Jonas Savimbi - called Mitt Romney a "coward" on ABC News on Sunday.

ALSO ASKED about Hillary Clinton’s significant edge in field staff in battleground states, Manafort said he was not worried about it, presumably because top GOP fundraisers calling his boss "Hitler" are of graver concern.

TEXAS LT. GOVERNOR DAN PATRICK, who sent out a fire and brimstone Bible tweet in the wake of this weekend's mass slaughter at a gay nightclub, insisted Sunday that he was not a bigot but rather a shameless self promoter.

WRITING ON FACEBOOK, Patrick claimed that “these posts are chosen in advance and scheduled in advance” - and apparently can’t also be deleted in advance if you have a very low IQ.

PATRICK'S POST INCLUDED the phrase, “a man reaps what he sows,” which is a solemn warning to voters who choose to make an unstable religious zealot their lieutenant governor.

IN THE MOST widely predicted news since “Shakespeare in the Park” announced they’d chosen Shakespeare for this summer’s program, the Broadway smash Hamilton won 11 of the 24 Tony Awards presented Sunday Night.

THE HIT MUSICAL about one of America’s first presidents has delighted theater junkies (and history buffs who are outraged about the first nine words of this sentence).

THE MUSICAL'S SUBJECT, Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton, developed America’s banking system, knowing that a dollar invested at the time of the nation’s founding could mature and collect interest until it would -- centuries later -- be worth enough to buy a back row ticket to see Hamilton on Broadway.

ON THE STRENGTH of relentless offense and tenacious defense, the Black and Yellow Team won the championship in the League You Don’t Follow Sunday night.

THE VICTORY marks the 4th championship for the particular team, whose name you can’t remember but whom Canadians seem to care about for whatever reason, as they triumphed over the Blue and White Team that you definitely have never heard of.

THE CHAMPIONSHIP has widespread ramifications, including a parade in Black and Yellow Team’s home city, which is presumably not your own, although you should check to confirm that because it will probably affect parking near your office.

YES, THE OKLAHOMA DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY DID PURCHASE A MACHINE THAT ALLOWS IT TO SEIZE MONEY ON GIFT CARDS. Now Oklahoma can balance the budget with the purchase of ten thousand Bloomin' Onions® from the Outback Steakhouse.

HOT SEAT - Japan’s first “naked restaurant” opens next month. Patrons who do not meet the establishment’s weight requirement will be refused service without a refund, which is a shame — but still better than worrying about spilling hot soup onto your naked crotch.
 

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