Getting through the Winter 

Every season of the year brings something incredibly beautiful and often something challenging.    Winter is no exception - the snow capped mountains, busy ski fields, cold nights, warm fires, hot chocolate, winter bugs and opportunities to wrap up indoors  and keep warm.                                  But just as seasons change, nothing in the rest of life stands still. The busyness of workplaces keeps going, and in winter, at times, we can find ourselves struggling to keep well, navigate all the demands and be resilient.  Here are some tips to help.

 7 Habits That Help Us Be Strong In The Tough Times

1. Practise mindfulness

We know there is an awful lot of buzz around mindfulness these days but actually the principles of mindfulness can help us all.  Here's how:

 - you learn to focus in the present moment, so your mind isn’t always going over  things from the past or anxiously worrying about what’s to come.

- you can find out how to unhook from difficult thoughts and discover how to sit with uncomfortable emotions, rather than desperately doing anything to push them away.

- it enables your brain to become more flexible and more resilient -  giving it a chance to recover from the constant multi-tasking and overstimulation we have in our  fast-paced modern world.

- it allows you to achieve a sense of calm and even relieve the physical tension built up in your body.

- it can also improve attention, aid in sleep and even increase grey matter in the brain.  

2.  Have a sense of purpose and stay true to your values

This is a key anchor to keeping us resilient. It really helps when we know why we are doing something, what makes us feel that we are making a difference.  And knowing what are the compass points / values that guide our lives.  When we start doing things which run contrary to our values, it can lead to lack of peace and disconnectedness.

Highly resilient people tend to let their values guide their decisions.  Even when facing very difficult situations, those people who follow their values are likely to experience far less psychological struggle and have more energy to bring to the situation.

3. Learn to say 'No'

Today  the cult of busy seems to reign! We work long hours, have stressful commutes and live with many pressures to maintain our workload and our lifestyle. 

There are many beginning to challenge what this busy life is all about. Thinking about having healthy boundaries, challenging expectations and learning the value of saying “No”  can help us work out what’s truly important.

Every 'Yes' involves a 'No' is actually true.  Learning to say “No” is a way of looking after yourself. By challenging  expectations, stopping putting yourself last or caring too much about what everyone else thinks, can actually  make you become more resilient.

4. Practise gratitude and cultivate optimism

There is often an influx of negatives that come at us via social media , TV , news etc, which can really begin to affect us. However, we can train ourselves to become more optimistic.

What we focus on, we feed.

When we regularly practise gratitude, our brains start rewiring themselves. Rather than just looking for small failures, problems and imperfections to obsess over, our brains start searching for and recognising all that’s good. Gradually, the perspective can change. Bouncing back from life’s challenges is far harder for anyone who believes the world is against them. By cultivating a grateful, optimistic outlook you can become more resilient and enjoy life a whole lot more.
 

5. Learn to live with the range of emotions

As human being, it is normal to experience a whole range of emotions, from joy to sorrow, love to fear, anxiety to contentment.

Sometimes, many of us feel extremely uncomfortable experiencing these sorts of emotions… so we do all we can to avoid them. Humans have dreamed up all sorts of ways to avoid uncomfortable emotions. We may overeat, drink alcohol, go on a betting or shopping spree, take painkillers. 

What is more healthy is to learn to allow space for all our emotions and not just those nice feel-good ones. While some emotions may feel unwanted and uncomfortable, by understanding and accepting them, we can become more flexible and better equipped to handle all those tough times in our lives.  Our emotions are a key part of our humanity.

6. See yourself through a lens of kindness 

Being perfect is not completely compatible with being human!  We make bad choices, say the wrong things and generally stuff up. 

Highly resilient people are not perfectionists. They don’t set impossibly high standards, then beat themselves up when they fail to reach them. They don’t buy in to unrealistic expectations instead, they offer themselves self-compassion and kindness.

For many of us self-compassion is a very hard skill to master. While we can find it easy to offer kindness and support to others, we somehow give only harsh judgements to ourselves. That inner voice keeps reminding us we are not smart enough, successful enough, fit enough, good looking enough etc. We need to challenge this belief  and say “No, actually, I am enough.”

Self-compassion also requires making changes to really look after ourselves, rather than running ourselves into the ground doing other things . It means making  sleep a priority along with simple exercise and good food. It means regularly having a little time out for meditation, a chat with friends or a walk in nature. 

Remember: 

Self care does not equal selfish! 

7. Reach out for support

Many of us are programmed to try and cope on our own - we don't bother anyone else lest they may think we are weak or incompetent. Asking for support is actually far braver.  When being vulnerable and asking for support, it’s important to reach out to those people who are empathic, non-judgmental and have your best interests at heart. Your support network may include a partner, friends, family members or helping professionals (including EAP) , who can provide support in a confidential setting. Research shows that highly resilient people are very good at accessing support and they do it regularly.