Daily Newsletter April 1, 2016

Happy Friday. On this day in 1748, the ruins of ancient Pompeii were found and assumed to be the greatest April Fool’s prank of all time.

GOP Loses Head of Black Outreach, Proving There Really Are Some Jobs Americans Won't Do

KRISTAL QUARKER-HARTSFIELD left her job as the National Director of African-American Initiatives at the Republican National Committee on Thursday, becoming the fourth person of color to leave the RNC staff recently.

APPARENTLY THESE EX-EMPLOYEES were seeking a work environment that doesn’t consider “diversity” to be the intermingling of white men in their 50s, 60s and 70s.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD to fill the position of National Director of African-American Initiatives at the RNC – even before this election began drawing white supremacists out of the woodwork like a new Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.

Gay People Living in Mississippi Win Right to Add Even More Stress to Their Lives

SAME-SEX COUPLES won the right to marry nationally last year, and thanks to a federal court ruling on Thursday, can now adopt children in all 50 states, even Mississippi.

BUT THE RAPID ADVANCE of gay people enjoying the right to have a family has been met by the backward advance of laws that anti-gay forces have managed to trick the media into calling “religious freedom” legislation.

THE STATE IS THE LATEST to consider one of these laws that allow mental health counselors and adoption agencies to refuse services based on sexual orientation. Critics are calling the proposed law “one of the worst out there​,” which is making Mississippi conservatives blush with glee.

Facebook Set to Address Problem of Humans Congregating

MARK ZUCKERBERG and his hoodie-coddled Silicon Valley entrepreneurs are out to fix the greatest ailment of your cursed existence: Reality.

ON THURSDAY, Zuck unboxed Oculus Rift – the long-awaited virtual reality headset from Oculus, the company Facebook bought for $2 billion. The device sells for $600 and requires an incredibly fast PC…. along with a nearly insatiable appetite for virtual porn.

WE HAVE NO IDEA what it will do to our already mushy and stimulus-starved brains. But the one thing we can be sure of is Facebook will find some reason you need to buy a new Oculus Rift every year for the rest of your virtual life.

Trump Presents His Inspiring 3 Priorities for America

NO, BERNIE SANDERS HAS NOT BOUGHT A LUXURY CAR with campaign donations. But the people who believe he did should all be in a commercial for Sanders’ “free college” plan.

A BEST FRIEND WITH WEED—A dog in Mississippi surprised his family by showing up at home carrying a big bag of marijuana. The family claims they have no idea where the weed came from but most people just want to know where to get a dog like that.

Was this good for you? Share it with a friend or sign up at Cafe.com to wake up with all the news you can't possibly live without, in your inbox.

Not yet getting this newsletter?? Sign up now to get the CAFE Morning Shot delivered to your inbox every morning.

FOLLOW CAFE!
Our act is pretty much together and our game is tight.Occasionally something
High-larious escapes our laser-like vision. Got a tip, a great story, wanna write for us?
Email submissions@cafe.com
Copyright 2015 CAFE. 20 W 23rd St., New York, NY What, not feeling it? Ok fine, sheeple, you can unsubscribe from this newsletter.