Happy Tuesday. Today is March 15, or annual "Everything You Think is Wrong Day"... allegedly.

AFTER MARCO RUBIO LOSES his home state of Florida today – which he will do unless he pulls off the greatest upset in polling history – he may finally understand that you can’t win a primary by losing every state. Even if you’re a thousand times cuter than your ghoulish opponents.

ON WHAT MAY BE HIS CAMPAIGN'S LAST DAY, let's dispel with this fiction that Marco Rubio was ever the party’s great “moderate” hope.

HE CONSTANTLY ACCUSES PRESIDENT OBAMA of "undermining this country" on purpose, once saying that by visiting a mosque after the San Bernardino shooting, the president pit Americans against each other and was "hurting our country badly." In other words, his rhetoric is often just as inflammatory as Trump’s – even if he always sounds like he’s reading a greeting card to his elderly aunt.

ONE OF THE ATTACKS expected to destroy Donald Trump in the GOP primary was the devastating accusation that he actually wanted poor people to have health insurance.

LEARNING THE NINE THINGS TO SAY that make you sound Republican – repeal Obamacare, cut taxes, build a wall against Mexicans, set Common Core on fire, tar Muslims, arrest Hillary, buy gold, wear only boot-cut jeans and bomb stuff – was easy for Trump. But health care vexed him like a bad plate of clams.

SO NOW THE GOP FRONTRUNNER has finally come out with a winning plan that looks like every other Republican candidates' plan: destroy Obamacare and replace it with people withering in the streets. Problem solved!

YOUR DESK JOB may be literally killing you, and we don’t just mean that figuratively (though that can certainly be true, especially if your cubicle is filled with inspirational quotes about teamwork).

A NEW STUDY OF CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE in the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine – which we're guessing is like the US Weekly of occupational and environmental medicine – finds that for full-time U.S. employees, the risk of heart problems increased significantly for every extra hour of work per week.

BEFORE YOU ASK: Yes, if your version of work means sitting at your desk and surfing the internet, the findings still apply.

• John Legend Makes Things Simple Enough for Donald Trump Jr. to Understand
• 7 More Gaffes Hillary Clinton Should Avoid Making This Week
• Donald Trump, the Great Uniter

NO, THE PROTESTER WHO CHARGED DONALD TRUMP AT A RALLY LAST WEEKEND WAS NOT A MEMBER OF ISIS. Remember, ISIS likes things that make a mockery of the West.

Y’ALL TRIPPING—Humans are really terrible at walking, a new study suggests, which means we'd all be horrible for your fantasy baseball team.

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