Dear Friend of PLC Lighthouse

A Message from the Director of Wellbeing, Chonny James 

made three years ago, to take time away from tennis to rest, recover and spend time doing something different in a team environment playing cricket.

When I talk with students about the sorts of things that cause them stress during a school term they often refer to the word ‘expectations’. Mostly, it’s the expectations they place on themselves, but they also talk about the pressure they feel to meet expectations from their peers, teachers and families. Recently I shared a letter written by a collegiate student-athlete with my Year 10 girls; 

"My biggest struggle is dealing with expectations. I set my standards so high personally that it’s not okay to fail – but it should be. I haven’t been able to accept that yet. I’ve had a lot of success through my soccer… especially this past year. So how do I match or exceed that so I don’t let people down?

"So many people, from family, friends, coaches, and teammates all expect something from me. They want success. If I don’t maintain my play, my characteristics, my purity, if I make a mistake everyone is watching. Judging.

Many of the girls acknowledged they had also felt this way at times. We discussed the notion of re-framing our thinking around expectations by placing you, the person, ahead of you, the performer.

Whether performing academically, on stage, in sport, as a friend or even performing in a leadership role, you need to remember: Person > Performer.

When we see ourselves only as performers, we feel dejected when we don’t meet expectations. When we see ourselves foremost as a person, we use unmet expectations as an opportunity to demonstrate our ability to bounce back.

I encourage you all to take a ‘Barty Break’ this school holidays. Use the opportunity to rest, recover and recuperate from the expectations of performing and reconnect with yourself, the person. 

- Chonny James, Director of Wellbeing

Meet the Team - Lucy Palmer

Meet Lucy, one of the Year 12 PLC Boarders working at the Lighthouse. Lucy began boarding in Year 9, after starting at PLC as a day girl in Year 7. She is originally from Brisbane, but her parents currently live in Colorado, USA, and her two older sisters still live in Queensland.  We asked her a few questions to get to know her better. 

What do you have planned for the holidays?

We have booked a family holiday in Hawaii. My Dad will fly over from Denver and my Mum, my siblings and I will meet him in Honolulu. We'll spend ten days there, just relaxing on the beach and catching up, before heading back to Australia. 

How are you enjoying working at the Lighthouse?

It's been great getting to know the staff and even other boarding students better. We are always given different tasks and jobs to do, which keeps it interesting and exciting, and there's always such a positive atmosphere about the place. 

Are We Sharing Too Much About Our Children on Social Media?

You know it's back-to-school time when all of your social media platforms are packed with photos of Janes and Jacks, in their new school uniforms, heading off to start another school year.

You know you forgot little Jessica's birthday when you see Facebook photos and a post thanking "everyone" for all their special wishes.

You are acutely aware, but does Jessica know? Do Jane or Jack know? 

'Sharenting' (parents posting about their children online) is coming under increased scrutiny worldwide, as the frequency of these posts continues to rise.  What are parents posting? Do they have permission? What privacy issues might come into play?

According to a 2016 UK study, parents posted an average of almost 1500 photos of their child online before the child's fifth birthday. It also found that parents, on average, posted a photo of someone else's child 30 times in the previous year, only asking for parental permission 16% of the time. 

“We often criticise teenagers for their online behaviour, but parents are no better,”

- Expert on internet law and ethics, Eric Delcroix.

At PLC, we encourage students to think before they share, to consider their digital footprint, and to understand that anything that they post online can never be completely deleted. 

However, parents can also have an impact on their child's digital footprint and it's important that before we press 'share', we really think about who our children might become and how we can give them the best opportunity to control their digital identity. Click here for a few expert tips on safer 'sharenting', and keep up to date about how to protect your information and seek more safety guidance across the different social media platforms by accessing this eSafety Guide.

Social media can be a quick, engaging and effective way to share your children's special moments with family and friends, especially those living far away. Just don't forget to check what, how and to whom you are sharing before you post, and always try to include your children  in related discussions and decisions.

- Kelly Curran, Senior School ILT Integration Specialist

Opening the Door to Emotions

The postman knocks on your door to drop off the message, but because we know that we don’t like what’s inside the envelope (an unpleasant emotion), we lock the door and hide inside our homes.

But what happens when we don’t open the door?

Well firstly, this postman is very persistent. He will stay at your door for as long as it takes to deliver the message and you may need to engage in more and more creative ways to avoid him. By channeling all of our efforts into avoiding the postman, we miss the most important part, the message in the letter!

If we could learn to tolerate unpleasant emotions, we could open the door, take the letter and see what the message is.

Your letter may contain fear, alerting you to danger, prompting you to protect yourself or to exercise caution (crossing a road, meeting a stranger).

Your letter may contain anxiety, which may indicate that things you value or are important to you (for example an upcoming test, being accepted by your peers, going on a date). If you didn’t care about these things, you wouldn’t feel anxious. Anxiety is a normal part of life and not caring about anything would be a terrible way to live.

Your letter may contain anger, which may alert you that your boundaries have been breached (e.g. someone shared information that you told them in confidence). This can motivate us towards taking helpful action to rectify the situation.

Even though it might be scary, open the door, meet the postman and take the message.

- Jessica Lethbridge, PLC Lighthouse Psychologist

Re-framing Failure 

Carol Dweck, a Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, has studied the reactions people have to failure, and has discovered that when people attribute failures to their worth as a person, and as a finite measure of their ability, it leads to increased levels of anxiety and the tendency to avoid challenges that may result in further failure. 

Prof. Dweck suggests there is a different, more constructive way to approach failure, obstacles and setbacks. She encourages us to think about our talents and abilities as being constantly developing, and challenges, such as assessments, as good ways to try out our skills and help us get smarter.

If we adopt this approach this thinking, our ability is not set and we can develop our abilities, skills and knowledge through hard work, strategic planning, with help and mentoring from others. 

Ask yourself... Can I react to failure in a constructive way? How can I reframe failure so that it enhances my learning?

Over the school holidays, spend some time thinking about how you can modify your reaction to failure, and how you can use it as motivation to learn, grow and achieve everything you are capable of. 

- Emily Lockhart, Head of Lighthouse Curriculum

Reflections With Sue Tredget 

Maxims such as ‘you snooze, you lose’ or, worse still, ‘you can sleep when you’re dead’ do nothing to promote the benefits of a regular seven to eight hours (eight to ten for teenagers) in dreamland.  

Sleep is not a waste of time – it is anything but. It is a constructive activity, vital for all aspects of our wellbeing – mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. Sleep is not an obstacle to achieving our goals or getting the most out of life. It improves our capacity to work and live at our best. We sometimes hear of people who claim to function at their best on just a few hours’ sleep. They may be able to sustain this for a while, but in the end, it’s a delusion.

While former British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, is famously said to have only slept for four hours each night, Einstein is known to have slept for ten hours each night, as well as taking regular daytime naps! I’ll leave you to decide who made the greater contribution to humanity…

O2 Active Class of the Month: Teen Yoga

That place of calm is where we feel content and create authenticity. It is where we act with compassion, cultivate a resilient spirit and feel gratitude. This is where we think and act our best.

Yoga offers students a wide range of amazing benefits, including:

1. Improved fitness and physical health - yoga helps to develop a strong connection to body awareness and movement. The poses help to improve co-ordination, balance, strength and flexibility. 
2. Reduce stress and anxiety - through breath and awareness, yoga provides space to step back and regulate your response to stress in a calm and thoughtful manner. 
3. Improved focus and school performance - practicing yoga once or twice a week can improve your academic performance and approach to school.
4. Improved self-esteem and body image - yoga creates an accepting and safe environment, rooted in the principle of non-judgment. The practice helps you feel more connected to, and accepting of, your body.

Yoga is run at the PLC Lighthouse on Thursday’s from 3:30 pm – 4.00 pm (yoga bears) and 5.00 pm – 5:55 pm (teen yoga).

Cyber Safety Seminar  

Does your child play Fortnite or other online games? Are you aware of incidents of cyber bullying in your school? Do you know what a healthy amount of screen time is?

Join three of Australia’s leading experts on cyber safety and internet awareness for a seminar on how to ensure your child is safe online. 

Date: Wednesday 14 August
Time: 6.30 pm - 8.30 pm
Venue: Main Auditorium, Telethon Speech & Hearing, 36 Dodd Street Wembley
Cost: $35 per person, with all proceeds supporting Telethon Speech & Hearing