NEWSLETTER #145/ Jan. 13, 2019
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SEX ROBOTS, SMART TOILETS, & SPERM TRACKERS
This week the annual celebration of tech hysteria - the Consumer Electronics Show - came to Las Vegas. The marketing industry can't control itself when it comes to tech. It's like stoners with nachos.
From press accounts the show seemed to feature the usual array of use-challenged gadgetry plus a nice dose of the really creepy and just plain silly.
Some of the most fascinating items were...
- Sex robots -- a steal at just $20,000!
- A smart toilet, with music and mood lighting! (Maybe I'm weird, but as a general rule my successful visits to the toilet don't seem to require a romantic air.)
- You won't want to leave home without the new YoSperm iPhone attachment. It "tests and tracks sperm quality." To protect your privacy, the company suggests that when using YoSperm "put your iPhone in airplane mode." (But, please, not while the seat belt sign is on.)
Some big-time controversy broke out when a hi-tech masturbation appliance for women, which was initially awarded a "CES Innovation Award," was later banned from the show for being inappropriate. The show's organizers were accused of sexism. What a world we live in.
In general, the leitmotif of the show came down to this: How much secret spying on your personal behavior are you willing to tolerate in return for some questionable convenience?
For my money, the best thing about the show was an ad. Apple put up this huge ad on the side of a building on The Strip.
Liars, Cell Phones, & Bounty Hunters
Motherboard reported this week that cell phone carriers -- including T-Mobile, ATT, and Sprint -- were selling personal information about their customers to sleazy middlemen who resold it to all kinds of black market users, including bounty hunters.
An investigation by the site found that it could easily gain access to the location of a mobile phone without authorization. According to Motherboard "this spying capability is also being resold to others on the black market."
Last summer T-Mobile ceo John Legere said, "I’ve personally evaluated this issue & have pledged that @tmobile will not sell customer location data to shady middlemen." It should come as a surprise to no one that Mr. Legere is totally full of shit. Spying on the public makes a liar out of everyone.
Gizmodo reports that tracking a phone can cost as little as $4.95.
Gizmodo also reported that last summer "the FCC claimed to be investigating the matter, here we are, eight months later, with reporters continuing to unearth new and even more damning evidence of big telecom malfeasance..." As you may recall from last week, I commented that the FCC was useless.
After members of congress called for an investigation, AT&T said it would stop selling customer phone information to third parties. Gee thanks, fellas.
Super Bowl Preview
The Super Bowl is a few weeks away and I'm already sick of it. Nonetheless, it's good copy so here we go.
If you've got some spare change, you can still pick up a nice thirty-seconds of air time for a smooth $5.3 million.
So far the biggest spenders are Anheuser-Busch who have bought a whopping eight spots.
Next comes PepsiCo who have bought three spots. Remember a few years ago when Pepsi swore off the Super Bowl and went all-in on the biggest social media wank in history -- the Pepsi Refresh Project? Because, ya know, advertising was dead and social media was awesome. Apparently advertising ain't dead no more.
According to AdAge, other brands that have signed up are: Audi, Avocados from Mexico, Colgate, Kraft-Heinz, Hyundai, Kia, M&Ms, Mercedes-Benz, Percil, Pringles, Toyota, TurboTax, Turkish Airlines, and WeatherTech.
Only In Advertising
Only in a business as dazed and confused as the ad industry could the following headlines appear in the same week:
"Kill ad fraud"? Yeah, any minute...
Off The Charts
I had a piece on the blog this week that went completely nuclear. It was concerned with the issue of why online advertising has been ineffective at building major consumer-facing, non-web native brands. See what you think here.
RIP Jerry Gibbons
When I first came to San Francisco, Jerry Gibbons was already a star in the ad business. In the intervening years, Jerry's interest in the business never waned. It seemed like I got an email from Jerry every other week with ideas for this newsletter.
In an industry that has more than its share of egomaniacs and just plain ordinary maniacs, Jerry was a rarity. He really wanted to help people and truly cared about the business. Jerry was simply a wonderful guy, and everyone who knew him will miss him.
By the way, just for the heck of it, I took one of those sex robots home for a free trial. As usual, no luck. It said it had a headache.
