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Sending Hope Issue #14

"I'm hungry"
Letting go of the rules and learning to honour your hunger

Hey there ,

In this edition of Sending Hope, we’re discussing coping with hunger cues in eating disorder recovery. We hear from Elli, one of our team members at EDV, about her lived experience and how she overcame what she describes as the ‘tallest hurdle of all’ in her recovery journey -  honouring hunger. We also speak to EDV dietician, Isabel Keeton, about strategies to cope with hunger and developing a healthy relationship with hunger cues during recovery.

“In my recovery journey, the most challenging hurdle to overcome was honouring my hunger. This aspect of recovery was incredibly harrowing as it involved truly letting go of my eating disorder and the rules it had told me to live by for years. To allow myself permission to eat and to mumble those two little words out loud – “I’m hungry”.

Throughout my recovery, there was a lot of focus on structure and although I found treatment difficult, part of me enjoyed the new routine. Eating disorder rules were replaced by a different kind of structure - new rules outlined by my treatment team. Yes, this new routine challenged my disorder and its unrelenting nature, but I also found this sense of structure strangely soothing because my disorder loved rules.

Yet after some time following a regular meal plan, I began to feel more in tune with my body and recognise hunger cues.  I also began to look at food beyond rules, a tool to not only fuel my body and my mind but something that could bring me satisfaction and joy.

And this realisation presented the tallest hurdle of all. While a meal plan offered me structure, my disorder and perfectionistic tendencies ensured I followed it with immense rigidity. I adhered to the new rules by the book because a deviation, no matter how slight would be detrimental. Or so my disorder said.

How would I allow myself to acknowledge hunger outside of the constraints of my meal plan?

For so long my ED had relentlessly whispered that hunger cues were a sign of weakness and those two little words - “I’m hungry” - were swaddled in shame and guilt. The mere thought of acknowledging them to myself, let alone out loud to others would be a sign of defeat and failure. Yet, I was motivated. Motivated to live a life beyond crippling rules and food guilt.

The first step was acknowledging my hunger cues.

Feeling a tummy grumble or thinking about something I wanted to eat. I sat with these feelings, reminded myself that these were normal thoughts for anyone to have and that I was allowed to feel this way, even if my disorder told me differently.

I began to give myself the permission to make choices. 

Initially, I found mumbling the words “I’m hungry” to be far too big of a leap. So I challenged myself in a different way by giving myself choices. They may have been small ones at first – picking between two or three options but these small and consistent choices helped me slowly loosen the disorder’s grip.

Over time, I gained back control.

Over time I became the one in control, overriding my critical ED voice and its rules. I began to again see the pleasure and satisfaction of the eating experience. When I ate what I really wanted to, when I wanted to, I not only felt satisfied, I felt powerful.

Slowly, I tried saying those two words out loud to myself. “I’m hungry”. I practised this for a while by myself. Allowing myself to say, “I’m hungry”, a small whisper to myself before a meal and then slowly louder and louder. And then one day I was sitting with my mum in the car and I closed my eyes, braced myself and said it aloud. And the most magical thing.

Learn what hunger feels like for you

Hunger can feel different to different people. For some, it’s a strong sensation in the stomach, others may recognise cues from other areas of the body such as the mouth or head. Some notice their energy levels drop or start feeling more irritable. Learning what different levels of hunger feels like in your body is an important step to being able to then respond by eating at the appropriate time.

Be mindful of hunger during the day

It can be hard to notice hunger if you are busy with work or study throughout the day. It may be helpful to pause every few hours to check in with your body and think about how you’re feeling.

Remember that hunger is a normal body cue

Hunger is our bodies way of telling us that we need more food. It’s a normal body function, just like yawning or feeling tired when we need sleep or get cues when it’s time to go to the bathroom.

Eat regularly and adequately

Eating enough food regularly throughout the day provides structure to your day and helps with metabolism and digestive function. While learning to recognise and honour hunger, it’s important to make sure you are still getting enough nutrition for your body.

While you're here, can we ask you something?

At EDV we're committed to keeping our services free or as low-cost as possible for our community. Throughout the COVID-19 crisis, both staff and volunteers have been working hard from home to keep our community informed, connected and supported. We are heartened to see more people than ever taking the brave first step of making contact with us to access support for themselves or their loved one. Contacts to EDV services, such as our telehealth nurse, have more than doubled. We are committed to ensuring that everyone who contacts EDV receives the support they deserve. Can you help us do that?

We know that not everyone is in a position to donate to causes they care about this year. However if EDV is of service to you, and you can spare some change, please consider donating to support our work. Any amount is appreciated.

Remember, if you need to talk to someone, please give our Hub a call during business hours on 1300 550 236, or email edv@eatingdisorders.org.au

For urgent support please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14

Eating Disorders Victoria respect and welcome diversity of culture, religion, gender and sexuality.