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Sending Hope Issue #13

"5 things I'm doing to maintain my recovery during isolation"

Hello ,

How are you going? We hope you're starting to find a rhythm in your day-to-day life, and most importantly in your recovery. This edition of Sending Hope we're sharing the experience of one of our Lived Experience Community members, Emma. When we spoke to Emma, she shared that she was in the 'best place' that she's ever been in her recovery. Inspired by her positivity, we asked Emma to share some of the strategies she's been using to support her ongoing recovery during this time.

Pre-isolation, you would usually find me at a café of some description, in some area across Melbourne. As I said to my Dad the other night, when you and your friends are recovering from eating disorders, you have full licence to travel obscene distances for those delicious pancakes in Port Melbourne. So, when lurking in eateries and bars became a fond but far memory, I had quite a few people checking in to see how I was coping. Surprisingly, lockdown hasn’t resulted in a relapse for me. I am extremely fortunate to be held up by my loved ones and treatment team, and have become almost content with this altered existence. EDV has provided so much fuel to my recovery over the years; with this list, I hope to help fan the flames for someone else. Here are some of the things I have been doing to keep moving forward in a partially still world.

1.  Control and Let Go

In any crisis, it is comforting to find something to control. Eating disorders adore this concept, where the manipulation of food and activity can quickly lead to further suffering and disordered depth. Try to detach from this practiced response and focus instead on recovery as something to plan and protect.

Whilst we cannot control the actions of those near and far, nor the state of the world in a pandemic, we have the ability to concentrate on things that benefit our headspace. I use social media to connect, but also to allow for some self-compassion and perspective. A health crisis exacerbates diet/wellness culture, so tune into resources that are informed and mental health oriented, alongside those that provide an escape or relief. I try to remind myself that society does not dictate what is healthy or appropriate for me. There is no true obligation to be productive in a global pandemic; living through it and holding onto recovery is success enough.

2.  Talk it Out

No power comes from isolating in isolation, so try to make use of ways to communicate and socialise. I find it helpful to have snacks or challenge meals with some of my friends over FaceTime or Zoom. We can remain connected, get that injection of social eating we crave and simultaneously test food beliefs. Even a quick phone call with a friend or family member can help challenge the notion that you are alone in this. Eating disorders love to place any kind of barrier between the sufferer and facts that challenge the strength of its grasp. So, we have to keep talking, to keep fighting; with a disorder screaming that you are abandoned and worthless, the only way through is to expose the lie and connect.

3.  Schedule in Activities

When an entire day is spread out before you, it is understandable to feel overwhelmed. Pre-corona, I had a daily routine that involved public transport, social gatherings and face-to-face group therapy. Now, there is less certainty, and far less movement from A to B to C. Without concrete engagements to fill the day, disordered behaviours can emerge as seamless pathways to safety. To counteract this, I like to think of my day as a series of chunks, with my meal plan forming the basis. I schedule activities around my meals to get a sense of structure. This also helps me satisfy my meal plan without getting focused on the minutiae. Slipping a chat or video call in around a meal can provide some accountability, as well as that connection element. If you have access to a streaming service like Netflix or Stan, now is the perfect time to check out some of those shows you’ve seen in meme form, or have a movie afternoon with someone in your household. Where safe and appropriate, engaging in mindful movement can also help complement a day’s flow. I am currently studying, and find that going for a gentle stroll (with music and instant coffee) helps create some mental space.

4.  Check in with Your Values and Recovery Reasons

I know it can sound a little buzzwordy, but checking in with your values is a great way to maintain recovery momentum. Instead of looking at a challenging meal with my family or boyfriend as an overwhelming caloric figure, I remind myself that memories have more weight than any moment of restriction ever will. I hold tight to honesty, and have flipped self-improvement from a disordered concept of weight loss to one of health gain and maintenance.

When an urge intensifies, I remind myself of WHY I want recovery. Make a list of your reasons and revisit them when things feel too tough to continue. There are many physical reasons to continue the fight, but also try to hold onto those less tangible. Being present in a conversation, or perhaps reading an entire book. Dancing around your room to the beat of music instead of disorder’s drum, not looking once in that full-length mirror. Travelling once all this is over, but even just exploring an inner-city laneway through taste, not steps. Feeling alive, living in colour. List your reasons and hold them close.

5.  Make the Most of Your Resources

Working with your professional supports is always important, and this hasn’t changed just because modes of treatment may have. Remember that your team is on your side, even when your head tries to tug you away from recommendations and prescriptions. So, take advantage of the support where possible, and check out virtual resources alongside. The EDV Hub is one service that provides telephone and email support, and there are other online chat functions that are available. I have used these outlets before and am always left appreciating just how valuable an objective ear and voice is. Whilst recovery cannot come solely from others, it also cannot be done in a vacuum; you are not alone, and there is hope.

- Emma 

I’m a mid-twenties Arts/Law student who is recovering from an ED. I have a passion for words, with many years spent in art therapy doing very little water colouring and a little too much writing. Now I just want to use words to help hold up fights beyond my own, those of individual friends and the recovering collective. 

Remember, if you need to talk to someone, please give our Hub a call during business hours on 1300 550 236, or email edv@eatingdisorders.org.au

For urgent support please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14

Eating Disorders Victoria respect and welcome diversity of culture, religion, gender and sexuality.