There is nothing quite as sweet as watching your best friend fall in love. Looking on as their eyeballs turn into pink cartoon love hearts and tiny blue birds tweet around their head. It’s priceless, right? Until your best friend falls for an idiot. And decides to call this idiot his wife. Then you spend the rest of your life making up excuses to avoid the best dinner party of the year save you be sat next to her. Dang. Yes, folks, it’s an unfortunate fact of life that you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your friend’s spouse. Spare a thought for poor Rob who recently wrote to us with a highly entertaining account of his grievance. Here’s an excerpt. We'll call this THE PROBLEM…
Donna always says something nasty/creepy/passive aggressive to me every time we go to a dinner party, or out to drinks. It’s gotten to the point where I agonize over going to events where she will be present, as I fear I will say something tacky or something I can't take back… So I came up with a plan (big mistake): I decided I would take the high road and purchase for her a couple of books on cocktail party conversation and a magazine subscription called Mental Floss. I suggested we meet sometime (without the kids/husband/group) to maybe devise a plan where we both could talk about things worldly and not about golf (did I mention I hate golf) as a way to connect with her on a more personal/friendly level… I sent her a text message via iPhone, no response.
The solutionRob commissioned a letter that he could package up with his gift of cocktail party conversation books and send to Donna. This is what he got… Dear Donna, There’s an art to conversation, that’s for sure, and by no means am I claiming to be an expert. I’m no Oscar Wilde or Dorothy Parker but, like most John Does, I do have a vague sense of when a conversation is going well – when it’s keeping both participants engaged and involved – and, alternatively, when it’s a bloodied car wreck out of which nobody escapes with limbs in tact. I’m sure you must share this same vague sense which is why I was surprised and, frankly, a little hurt when you didn’t respond to my text message suggesting we meet up, just the two of us, and nut out a way to make our conversations zing. |
On top of sorting out relationships for disgruntled best friends and nasty/creepy/passive aggressive wives of best friends, we've also been busy writing about a plethora of fascinations, from handmade bags to food delivery, from Melbourne to New York. And this is how we were rewarded...
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Lucky us. Keep the request a-coming! Penny & Jane x p.s. We turned 3 recently. Time for toilet training. |
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