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This is How Positive Change Happens...I've decided to kick off the launch of my enewsletter with an example from my own life of how positive change happens. Recently, I was practicing mindfulness meditation. It was not all peaceful or blissful. I was all flared up. Before starting the sitting meditation, I had taken an active role in helping a group of friends solve a problem. The problem was solved and all was well. But not inside of me. While meditating, I became aware that my mind was really speedy and my head and chest were tight. I also had all these story lines going on that said "Oh, what if I was too bossy? What if I was controlling? What if so and so wanted to get in there to help and I didn't leave them space to do it? I take charge too much. People are upset with me…". On and on it went. Spinning and whirling around. I was totally caught up in it. Then, I remembered where I was and what I had planned on doing. My intention was to practice mindfulness - the skill of noticing, in a non-judgmental way, what was actually happening in the present moment. Oh yeah, right, that's what I'm here for! I began to intervene for myself. I started to get unhooked from the spinning stories and to look more deeply. When I did, I saw that I was scared. So, I simply identified it: "There's the fear. Yes. There's the fear in me". No criticism, just noticing. I just stayed with it and breathed. Then, with spontaneous ease, I said to myself "There there", like soothing a fearful child. Within about five minutes, I shifted into deep, open compassion with myself. My struggle dissolved. I became a good, loving friend to myself. It was profound yet simple. Later, I honestly shared my experience with my friends. They were understanding and compassionate towards me. And, they also thanked me for taking such an active role in solving the problem because it was a relief for them. So, the next time you are struggling with yourself, I hope my example inspires you to stop, identify what is going on in a simple way, and give yourself a good dose of compassion. You can do this anytime, anywhere. And you deserve it. |
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