This is How Positive Change Happens...

I have been practicing letting go more than usual lately. At first, it felt really undesirable and difficult. Now, I am getting more used to it and remembering to let go more quickly and with more ease. Sometimes, I am practicing letting go of a certain pattern of behaviour. Sometimes, I am releasing my attachment to an outcome or idea. Frequently, I am practicing letting go of being so caught up in the stories and the chatter in my own mind.

I am noticing that many of the people I work with are, ultimately, seeking counselling to facilitate some process of letting go. Their personal challenge with letting go has its unique manifestation. Their process of letting go is nuanced and deeply intimate. At the core, it seems that some kind of profound letting go needs to happen for transformation to take place.

Often it seems that in order to truly let go, we need to delve into what's really happening in our emotions even further. We need to accept the sadness or the anger that is there and let it move through us. As one of my professors once said, "On the other side of trauma is liberation". But there is a courageous journey into our pain that needs to be taken before we can really experience the joy of letting go. Being part of this journey with people I work with is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling parts of my life.

Over the past month, I have had the following phrase by Thich Nhat Hanh on a sticky note on my bathroom mirror:

Experiencing the joy of letting go, I breathe in.
Smiling to the joy of letting go, I breathe out.

I decided to work with this phrase as a challenge because even though I knew I needed to strengthen my ability to let go, the "joy" part of letting go seemed a little lofty. It was like I said something to myself like "I don't think I can or will feel joy with letting go. That's not available for me."

A funny thing happened as I continue to read this little sticky note (even with irritation sometimes). I started to identify moments when I had practiced letting go and I started to look for the joy in it. I was asking myself "Was there joy in that experience of letting go?". The more I looked for it, the more I could see it and feel it. That joy of letting go feels like the smile that arises when I release or relax. There is joy in feeling more space open up in myself and in my life.

I know I have not mastered letting go. As I move forward, I feel more confident in welcoming the opportunities that will undoubtedly present themselves to continue to practice letting go and smiling to it. I wish you well in your practice too.

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