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Cyberbullying and Suicide have made headline news in the last month around the globe

This month we explore these two important topics. There are frightening statistics about the cost of cyberbullying to a person, with 1 in 3 young people experiencing online bullying. The headlines in Britain last week welcomed a review of policy so that cyberbullies can be put into jail for two years. Unfortunately for many this is too little too late.

When Charlotte Dawson took her life in March Australian papers reported that "we have lost a beautiful soul today, she lit up a room”. Tragically at the end of the same month L’Wren Scott a model stylist turned designer who was famous for dating Mick Jagger for the past 10 years also took her life. There are similarities – the world’s media had put them on a pedestal for their beauty, fame and seemingly perfect lives and their friends and family were shocked at their choice to take their own lives.

What can we learn from these women who tragically ended their own lives? Could it be that no matter how beautiful or famous, how much money you have or how many boxes you have ticked on your “to achieve list” of life, that these two women may be showing us that something was still missing. It was still not enough?

Is it possible that no amount of outside recognition can fill us up on the inside if we don’t feel we are worth it?

When we are constantly looking outside of ourselves for confirmation of our worth, we become drained, exhausted and depressed as we are forever trying to fill an empty bucket with a hole in it, constantly leaking our confidence and self-esteem. It seems that no matter how much we have, we are constantly and forever searching for the next fix, the next hit, like a drug addict. Being prettier than, better than, wealthier than, more famous than… what ever that drug is for you… we are constantly searching outside ourselves for something to give us what we forgot was already within.

No one likes feeling this emptiness, and as a result we will do anything to cover it up. We will do anything to numb how we really feel about ourselves.  We only have to look at a world that does not make sense to see this is everywhere:

• Eating food we know is not good for us,
• not being able to stop smoking even though we know it harms the body
• drinking too much, swearing never to do it again – yet we do.

Are we crazy or do these behaviours actually make sense? If we want to numb what we are feeling and fill emptiness of course it makes sense… not smart but makes sense ☺

What if there is another Way?
A way to re-connect to who we truly are.

We only have to look at a baby to know how perfect and divine they are.  This never goes away in anyone… it just gets covered up in hurts, disappointments and rejections.  Our way back is to claim this back for ourselves.

We are all different, yet equally PERFECT JUST AS WE ARE.

If you spend the time re-connecting to you, you will discover that the only thing you need is YOU.  You alone have the ability to fill yourself up from within and no one can take that away.  You are the master of your own making and no longer at the mercy of how another will be with you, they can come and go, be mean or nice, but you will always have you.

Top Tips for re-connecting back to the real you!

Eat to support your body to stay steady
Sleep to support your body in its natural rhythm
Breath gently to re-connect to who you truly are
Be Gentle and Caring with yourself

* Seek support if you need assistance with any of these for a list of practitioners near you click here

If we want our souls to light up a room then the key ingredient has to be US. The real and whole us, contented with who we are and not looking outside ourselves for someone else to tell us how to be. Imagine looking in a mirror and telling yourself how beautiful you are, you get to do that every day, no matter who is around.  You can be your greatest love story!  Give it a go, what do you have to lose?


Cyber Bullying – a crime that affects everyone

Tweet ButtonBy Caroline Raphael (Psychologist, BPsych, MAPS, EPA accredited)

Today in our modern world we have a new evil in our mist.  It may not have thorns or look like something out of a horror movie, yet none-the-less, it is a monster that has and continues to cause great harm.  Today we are living a new brand of bullying and its name is Cyber-bullying and it is contributing to our rise in depression, anxiety and suicide rates.

According to bullying statistics.org, more than 1 in 3 young people have experienced cyber threats online, yet regardless of the dramatic increases, not much has been done to arrest this criminal activity. The statistics are truly horrifying and even though there is a lot of political talk and media attention, there are no real policies and laws in place that really support those who are victims of cyber-crime.

Unfortunately it takes the death of a fellow human being to get our attention, or perhaps it would be more truthful to say that it often takes the death of someone famous to prompt us to sit up and take notice. One such famous death recently was an Australian celebrity Charlotte Dawson, on 22nd February 2014 she took her own life after many years of fighting cyber-bullying and trolling.

In a recent article “Trolls don’t just live under the bridge” its author Andrew Bonallack wrote “It's almost nauseating to read about the "flood" of tributes and regret appeared on Twitter and social media, when it wasn't that long ago Dawson was weathering savage attacks by online trolls, sending her to hospital for emergency treatment”.

Why is it, that as a race of beings, we wait for something bad, terrible, shocking, and etc. to happen before we stand up and say something is not right?

As a psychologist I notice that, on the whole, two things happen, firstly, as human beings we become complacent when something does not affect us directly, we may become shocked or outraged but ultimately we think someone else will take care of it. Secondly, if it does effect us directly, be it us, or someone close to us, we get indignant like how can this happen and then ultimately give up because there are no real policies to support in the speaking up.  Now, perhaps this is not true for all, but it definitely is the majority.

What if all of us bandied together acting on behalf of all human beings?
We may, to quote a famous saying, “have the power to stop a nation”.

In Australia we all stop for a horse races like the Melbourne Cup, in the UK it is the Grand National, in America perhaps the Super Bowl, but what if we did it for something as truly important as this, Cyberbullying?

If we all made a call to our local politician or sent a letter to government, it would not take long before the people who represent us, took notice and realized that the public are serious about this matter being dealt with.

How do we break this complacency?

The first step is to call abuse out… there is so much abuse in our daily lives that we accept as normal, and as a result we have stopped seeing it as abuse – when in fact it is.  For example, the way people speak to each other can be abusive and often down right rude, yet we don’t call it out.  How often do we justify it as, “that is just so and so, he is always like that don’t take offence”… yet it is offensive and it is not ok.

What if calling out the abuse is as simple as saying “I don’t like the way you just spoke to me”.  How empowered would you feel if you did speak up for yourself and say no to the abuse?

Or what if we call out our own self abuse, how often do we rush to get a hundred and one things done and in the process we get exhausted and often knock ourselves out, I have a relationship with a number of doors I continually bump into when I am rushing ☺ What if, calling out the abuse was to stop and listen to our bodies, listen to whether it is telling us we need timeout, to have a rest or simply something to eat or drink?  How cared for would we feel if we did take that time to stop just because we needed to?

And if you are experiencing bullying do you talk to others about it or do you keep it to yourself, often hiding it like a dark, shameful secret, rather than outing it for what it is, human behaviour at its worst. Why is it that often victims of bullying feel this sense of shame, is it because it is shameful to be bullied, or is it because we don’t have enough self love to say No to it and to stand up for ourselves.

No one deserves to be bullied and no one deserves to be abused, it is time for a different way.

It is time for us to take loving care of ourselves, so when we come across abuse we know it and as a result are able to say no to it. Whether it is abuse directed at us or another, we would then not have the strength to stand up and say “enough”.

The true power of change comes from within. And that power comes from how we treat ourselves and how we allow another to treat us.  Imagine how powerful it would be if we all did this. In our next edition we will share more about the power of No and how being able to do that creates more love in our lives.

If you are experiencing bullying you can contact local and national agencies for support:

Australia: http://au.reachout.com/Factsheets/C/Cyberbullying
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au

United Kingdom: http://www.bullying.co.uk/cyberbullying
If you are a young person at risk of suicide or are worried about a young person at risk of suicide: HOPELineUK 0800 068 41 41

If you would like to express your concerns about cyberbullying you can contact:

Australia: Contact the Minister for Communications The Hon Malcolm Turnbull MP malcolm.turnbull.mp@aph.gov.au

United Kingdom: Contact the Minister for Culture, Communications and Creative Industries The Undersecretary for state Ed Vaizey MP www.vaizey.com/contact‎ 

(1) http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/cyber-bullying-statistics.html 
(2) Wairarapa Times Age, “Trolls don’t just live under the bridge” by author Andrew Bonallack, Tuesday Feb 25th, 2014


Trolls in the Public Park – Policing the beat without boarders

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In this article Rebecca Baldwin explores in greater depth the cyberbullying phenomenon. "Imagine the most disgusting and vile words being hurled at you in a coffee shop or in a shopping centre? This is something we would never allow and yet the Internet is much more than even a gigantic coffee shop or shopping centre – it is where your reputation is on the line for all to see, from employers, to family to friends" read more here

CPD for the December Conference

If you would like a reciept for the CPD hours for the conference in December please contact@pscyholgoicalwellbeing.net

Upcoming Events

Universal Medicine

The Way of the Livingness on 27th of July 2014 Lennox Head. This is an introductory workshop on how it we can make more self-loving choices in daily life brought to you by Universal Medicine. UniMed has been a great inspiration for the Psychological Well-being Team as we have developed more self-care in our own work and our lives – this is a highly recommended course. Click here for more info.


FABIC Tan Curtis is running workshops through out May and June.

Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder – London 16th May (Fri)                

Anxiety – Does it affect us all – London 17th May (Sat)               

Changing Behaviour – London 19th May (Mon)

Anxiety - Does it affect us all – Brisbane 31st May 2014 (Sat)

Healing Depression and sadness Gold Coast 7 May 2014 (Sat)

Anxiety - Does it affect us all – Mackay 21st June 2014 (Sat)

please contact FABIC to find out more details info@fabic.com.au.