Coach Mom Newsletter - Feb 2010
Remember Your Valentine
 As you make
heart-shaped sugar cookies and Valentines
cards with your children this month, take
care to not forget hubby.
Children enter the family, take
center stage, and often stay there.
Remind your husband that he’s your “main
squeeze” this Valentine season with
thoughtful gift giving. These times of
economic uncertainty offer a chance to stop
and think about what giving a truly valuable
gift really looks like.
Here are some ideas to get you
started, keeping in mind what he likes:
-
List three of the best
qualities your husband possesses, and
let him know how you feel about these
strong qualities. (After sharing, post
the list where
you can see it daily.)
-
Do two things you did for your
husband while you were dating or were
newlyweds.
-
Write a love note, and hide it in his
briefcase.
-
Compliment him in front of others
(especially the children).
-
Send him a racy text message. (Double
check the address before you hit
“send”!)
-
Surprise him with a clean car that
has his favorite candy taped to the
steering wheel.
-
Make coupons for a foot massage or
back scratch.
-
Put the children to bed early and
enjoy a candlelight dinner to soft
music.
-
Start an admiration journal for him
(more about this later).
Parenting expert John
Rosemond says, “The secret to raising happy,
healthy kids is to pay more attention to the
marriage than you pay to them.” Take the
time to step out of the mother role to be
your husband’s friend, companion, and lover.
It
will not only bless your Valentine, it will
bless the little ones watching you.
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Create an Admiration Journal
- Jot down the date
and moments and situations in which you
particularly admired your husband (i.e.
“Even when you were tired from work, you
came in and wrestled with the boys in
the middle of the floor. You are such a
great dad.”)
- Don’t worry about
good handwriting, proper grammar – just
get it down, and make sure you are
specific.
- It’s not only a
great bang for your buck, it only gets
better with time. Each year add to it,
tie a ribbon around it, and give it to
him again.
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Ask Coach Mom
Dear Brenna,
Valentine’s Day is
nearing and I’m trying to prepare myself.
Over the last five years of marriage I’ve
learned to stop watching for flower
deliveries on Feb. 14. My husband seems to
think flowers are a waste of money since
they are so temporal. What’s more, he
doesn’t seem to appreciate the gifts I’ve
bought him: special coffee mugs, sweaters,
and even game tickets.
I feel bad complaining,
because he is a caring husband. He often
lightens my load by giving our preschoolers
their baths and cleaning the kitchen after
dinner.
I just want to break
the “disappointed on Valentine’s Day” cycle.
Lucy
Dear Lucy,
Thomas á Kempis said,
“A wise lover values not so much the gift of
the lover as the love of the giver.” It
sounds like you have a loving husband, but
giving presents is not his most natural way
of expressing or feeling love. Adjust your
expectations, recognizing that he shows love
in other ways. Perhaps he shows love by acts
of service? When you consider gifts to give
him, think about something you might be able
to do to help him in something that matters
to him.
Thank him for the helps he
gives you around the house (it really is a
gift
when preschoolers live in the house). And at
an appropriate time after Valentines Day has
passed, you might want to share with him how
much it would mean to you to receive a
bouquet of flowers some time from him. Most
likely this will be news to him.
Brenna
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