Hi ,

In October of 2004, Dale and I had a beautiful, love-filled wedding and celebration at the Temple of ECK* in Chanhassen, Minnesota. It was my first marriage at the age of 48. It was Dale's third marriage.  (*ECK is another word for Spirit)

Neither of us were very good "statistics” for a successful relationship or marriage. Yet here we are today celebrating eight years of marriage – and our relationship keeps getting better and more fun. So don't let statistics limit what's possible for you!

Keeping a relationship or marriage vital requires making it a priority, despite the busy non-stop pace of our lives today.

In this month's feature article, I share simple ways you can give your relationship what it needs to flourish. I'd love to hear what you do to keep your relationship vibrant. Post on my Facebook page or contact me to share your tips and challenges.

I’ll be publishing the November newsletter after our November 6th elections. If you live in Minnesota and believe that all people should have the right and freedom to marry, please get out and vote “No” on the proposed “marriage amendment.” And encourage others you know to do the same. The polls show that we don't yet have all the votes needed to defeat the amendment. To that end, in addition to volunteering for Minnesotans United for All Families, I've also been writing blog posts about the amendment and same-gender relationships which you can check out here.

If you know others who might enjoy this monthly newsletter, at the top of this page you can "Like" it on Facebook, "Tweet" it, and "Forward" it to a friend.

Wishing you a wonderful October!

Love,
Lyndra

Based on what I’ve heard from many couples over the past thirteen years, the most frequent reason for unhappy relationships is pure and simple neglect.

We meet that special someone, fall deeply in love, and think that love is enough to keep us happily together till death do us part. But love is like a garden. If we don't give it what it needs, it will wither on the vine. Sometimes it can be the simple act of placing our attention on our beloved.  

In Spiritual Wisdom on Relationships, Harold Klemp says:

“During courtship when two people are looking at each other very directly, there's the power of love in the gaze of one human being upon his beloved. They can actually feel the power in it.

“But later when the partners become distracted and put their attention a foot above each other's head, the nourishing power of love...doesn't come through to nurture each other. This is often when their relationship begins to die a slow death that can take many years.”   (p. 4)

Fortunately, a relationship suffering from neglect can be turned around. However, practicing “preventive maintenance” is best done from the beginning. 

Harold Klemp goes on to say, “If you love someone or something, nurture it. That means, at least once during the day, give the object of your attention or the person of your heart your full love. Even if just for a little while, listen to what they are saying.” (pp. 4-5)

Isn't this amazing?

Read More About What You Can Do to Nurture and Strengthen Your Relationship

"In the end, nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter as much as the way we have loved one another." ~ Daphne Rose Kingma  

Movie

Jane Eyre, NR, BBC Masterpiece Theatre, 228 minutes on 2 discs, 2006

After a horrible childhood, orphaned Jane Eyre (Ruth Wilson) accepts a governess position at Thornfield Hall working for the brooding master of the house (Toby Stephens.) In spite of the many challenges Jane faces, she maintains kindness and compassion for others. She's a woman of strength and character. The movie depicts relationship challenges within the dramatic arena of economic class differences, dishonesty, and challenging obstacles to be transcended with the power of love. Based on the novel by brilliant English author Charlotte Bronte, the movie includes the right amount of romance, suspense, mystery and drama.. 

Music                                                  

No Limitation by Keystone

This is an inspiring, uplifting and fun CD, created and performed by five talented musicians. On their website, www.keystoneharmony.com, they write, “We began with the belief that music can heal both the musician and the listener. This CD is for you. It's our hope you'll hear the harmony within it and know, even in your darkest hour, that you are loved.” 

Two of my favorite songs on the CD are “No Limitation” and “Hero's Journey." Dale and I walked down the wedding aisle to “Hero's Journey.” You can read the lyrics to "Hero's Journey" in a recent blog post I wrote - the post is about the hero's journey to love ourselves and others.

Let us know what you think of the CD and film on our Facebook Community! Go ahead and share some great relationship books, movies, and music you've enjoyed. 

Patrick and Cesar met online. Both had years of failed attempts at building a genuine partnership. Patrick had an online dating profile for many years. Cesar, however, had a long resistance to online dating – but finally decided to give it a try.

A week later, Cesar “winked” at Patrick who’d stressed spiritual and personal growth as top priorities in his life, as well as music, theater and the arts as main interests. Patrick responded, and two days later they met for dinner. The relationship began to bloom from that day forward. 

Mutual interest and attraction was there from the beginning. However, neither of them wanted physical contact to become a false gauge of the relationship. It took seven "long" weeks before they held hands for the first time! One said: "It felt so old-fashioned in a way, but it reassured us there was someone (and very possibly something) solid here, and we're so glad we gave us that space and time!"

Cesar, Patrick, and their close friends all say, they're the happiest they've ever been in a relationship!

Their Relationship Advice:

• It's a gift to be completely yourself – not putting up a facade to please the other person – and letting the other person be exactly who they are!
• Appreciate each other’s differences.  Know that it’s all right for you not to be exactly the same.
• Listen with love and tie your tongue (lovingly) when you have something not-so-nice to say.
• If you find there’s a block between you, step back and figure out what’s going on within yourself. Typically, it’s a personal adjustment that needs to be made and not something that needs to be changed in the other person.
• Demonstrate the love, respect and appreciation you want your partner to share with you.
• Check all judgments at the door.
• Love the other person for where they are on their journey at this moment – right here, right now.
• Say "thank you." Acknowledge the gifts, small and large, from your partner.
• Communicate. When something’s bothering you, share it. Keeping it to yourself can build an emotional wall.
• Make time for each other – but reserve time for yourself as well.
• Know that any problem or uncomfortable situation is temporary.
• Take care of yourself – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially and financially.
• Have gratitude for your past experiences – and past loves – for they have helped you arrive at this present moment and relationship.

We're looking for stories and photos of happy couples to post here in the newsletter. Do you have one, along with a tidbit of relationship wisdom? You're welcome to include as much or as little of the following information as you'd like: names, where you're from, how long you've been together, and how you met. The most important piece is your relationship advice on having a successful love relationship! Send your information and photo to lyndra@loverelationshipcoach.com. Thanks! 

My Coaching Programs Can Benefit You If:

• You're longing for a great love relationship, yet you keep repeating unhealthy patterns.
• You're ready for an inside-out approach to love.
• You're moving toward marriage and want to assess your compatibility.
• You know there's untapped potential in your relationship and want to express it more fully.
• You're on the fence about staying together and want to see if you can turn your relationship or marriage around.
• You've been unable to get over a relationship breakup and want to create a new future.
• You're separating and want to do so in the most loving way possible for all involved.
• You want a more balanced and fulfilling life in one or more of the following areas: career, finances, health, personal growth, fun, romance, friends, family, and physical environment.

If you’re interested in finding out more about my coaching, give me a call at 952.212.1682, contact me via email, or explore my Web site for great information about how my coaching services can help you in every area of your life. 

Lyndra Hearn Antonson is a certified professional relationship and life coach who helps her clients – men, women and couples – find true and lasting love. She earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and a Master's Degree in Social Work, preparing her for a successful 25-year career as a psychotherapist. She completed additional training to become a Certified Professional Life Coach, a Certified Calling in "The One" Coach, and a Certified Conscious Uncoupling Coach. Lyndra's personal journey to true love was challenging, but fruitful. After releasing her own inner barriers to love, she met her beloved partner, Dale, and married for the first time at the age of 48.

Lyndra primarily coaches by phone giving her the ability to work with clients all over the world. You can learn more about Lyndra and the transformational coaching programs she offers individuals and couples at www.loverelationshipcoach.com.

Did you find this newsletter valuable? Do you know of someone who would like to attract and sustain a healthy love relationship and create a more fulfilling life?  If so, pass this on to a few friends by forwarding this email to them directly. Feel free to leave a comment or ask a question on our Facebook page!

Questions? Contact me.