Mothers don't get sick!

Really? One of the harshest lessons I learned as a new mother was that when a mother gets a cold or the flu, she doesn't get to take care of herself! Mothers don't get sick leave. Even when your nose is running and your sinuses are aching and you're coughing and sneezing, you still have to wake up in the night to breastfeed. You still have to get up at 7am to make breakfast for the toddler. You still have to keep the laundry moving through the machines.

When I called my mother to tell her I had a cold, she didn't say "Oh poor sweetie, take it easy. Have some Vitamin C. Drink some soup." as she had for the last 28 years of my life.  No.  she said: "I hope the baby doesn't catch it!" 

It's one thing to go to an office job when you're sick and work slowly, at your own pace, with your colleagues giving you a wide berth so they don't catch the plague too. No, mothering is a much more physically and emotionally demanding job. It's hard to give of yourself when you want to hold yourself back to heal. Having the flu with a breastfed baby is a cinch compared to having it with a toddler.  A baby is happy for you to hunker down in bed and snooze on and off all day - as long as she can breastfeed, she's happy. But having the flu with a toddler or a pre-schooler is truly hell.  At that age they need to be entertained, supervised. They'll only let you read so many books before they have to get down off the bed and go and rummage through the garbage or try to eat the soap in the bathroom.

While a small breastfed baby is protected by your breastmilk from catching the family cold, the toddler is probably all snotty-nosed and miserable too, which makes the whole experience that much rougher. I remember a truly terrible week when Randy and I and the three kids (6, 4 and 2 years) all had the flu at the same time. Our house was in major reno-mode - we had no living room. so we dragged the kids' mattresses and ours all into one of the bedrooms, wall-to-wall mattress, and brought up the television. We spent a week there, reading stories, watching Sesame Street, singing lullabies in our hoarse raspy voices. A few times a day, Randy or I would go down to the kitchen to make more orange juice and lipton's chicken noodle soup. The communal bed was full of cracker crumbs. Our sweet GP actually made a house call to make sure none of us had caught pneumonia. At the time the slumminess and squalor of the whole thing depressed me beyond words. When I think back on it now, though, it sounds kind of cosy!

How lucky we are, I think now, that this is worst memory of illness I can dredge up! In a basically healthy family, winter colds are unpleasant and depressing, but they pass. They are a part of normal life and the best thing you can do is hunker down and relax, waiting patiently and confidently for a time when you will certainly feel better. I hope it happens soon!

Survey on Bonding with your Baby

At Mothering Touch, we talk all the time about attachment and bonding. We're curious to know what the parents in our community do to enhance bonding with their babies.

Let us know by completing our survey . Join our discussion on Facebook.

We'll publish the results of our survey in our February newsletter.

Womb Music

In my other life, I am a singer. I sing in a choir and I take voice lessons.
The Pre-Natal Music Class which I am teaching this winter at the Victoria Music Conservatory combines my interest in pregnancy and my love of babies and parents with my love of music. Please come and join us. It’s going to be fun! -Eva

If you want to try it out first, sign up for the FREE demonstration class on Monday Jan 24 at 7pm. Call the conservatory to sign up. 250-386-5311

Pre-Natal Music Class
There is evidence that the fetus responds to sound from as early as four months. In this class, parents will learn to sing lullabies and children’s songs for babies and infants. Parents will also practice guided imagery, relaxation, breathing with music, and instrument improvisation.
Instructor: Eva Bild and various guest music therapists
Duration: 5 weeks
Tuition: $150
Tuesdays 7:00-8:30pm
Starting dates: February 1, April 5, or May 10