Release:
October 7, 2020

Women of NATE Today Newsletter
Volume 2, Issue 9
 

“I’m not like other women…”

The most extraordinary thing about these words, for me, is the vast number of women from whom I have heard this exact phrase spoken – myself included!

Are you like other women? Are you different? How?

Just what are other women “like” anyway?

Like many women, I grew up surrounded by more males than females. This was by chance, not design, but it inevitably helped to shape some of my perspectives. A defining moment for me came as I and my (male) teammates were wrapping up a large avalanche rescue in Colorado. Amid hoots and hollers the name of a local eatery was tossed out and they all moved off in that direction. I demurred and moved off toward my truck saying, “I think this’s going to have to be a guys night out!!” But my plan was foiled when a couple of them captured my arm and quipped as they steered me back to the group, “Oh, no, you HAVE to come – you’re more one of the guys than most of the guys are!”

Before the age of 20 I already knew I wasn’t like other girls, but what I didn’t realize at the time was that “I’m not like other girls” had begun to turn into “I don’t like other girls” – an attitude and bias based wholly and completely on my own limited social pool, feelings of inadequacy, and gender perceptions.  

We are taught in our society that men are straightforward, bold, confident, and fun loving while women gossip, complain, are fearful, and demanding. In practice and as we grow, women can be intensely competitive as we try to prove ourselves to ourselves, other women, and men. Meanwhile, we perceive that men are more readily accepted in certain business environments, and that men are valued more, so we kick up the competition a notch to try to make an impression. Often, aligning ourselves with men yields such positive results that we (intentionally or unintentionally) alienate ourselves even further from other women.

And in doing so we rob ourselves from the potential for amazingly rich relationships.

It wasn’t until my choice of male friends led me down some very destructive paths, among men who would disrespect me, undermine my work, condemn my successes, and otherwise attack my being, that I discovered the other part of the equation: I may not be like other women, but I am not like men either. In fact, men have their own gender issues, and perceiving a woman as a threat can turn a male friend to foe faster than the mind can fathom.

In the tumultuous years that followed, it was women – strong, powerful, sensitive, compassionate women – who would accept me and help teach me the meaning of true friendship and support. Today, some of the best friends I have are women. They aren’t like the stereotype girls of my imagination, they are caring, compassionate friends, successful by their own right yet able to celebrate one another's successes as well. They are the first to congratulate me on a job well done, and the first to get in my face when I am being overbearing. They are, all of them, each of them, not at all like other women.

We are each created with a unique and beautiful spirit, and in the turmoil of life sometimes we lose sight of that. As long as you’re drawing breath it is never too late to pause and rediscover who you are – and Women of NATE is an extraordinary forum for doing that. The wireless industry is as vast and varied as we are, but it is our combined uniqueness that makes us strong.

I hope you will purpose to engage more closely with Women of NATE in the coming year – stop by the WON booth at NATE UNITE, participate in the Fun Run, connect with the Mentorship program, and take part in programs and leadership activities offered. You may be amazed that, just like you, we’re not like other women!

Loui McCurley is a member of the Women of NATE Committee and Chief Executive Officer of Pigeon Mountain Industries, Inc. in Denver, Colorado. She can be reached at lmccurley@pmirope.com.

WON Profile: Heather Gastelum

Pictured above: Hulburd Grove Stable.

Where will you find the Women of NATE?

Take Women of NATE with you!

Are you traveling for work or taking a leisure vacation? Take a creative photo holding a Women of NATE (WON) logo in front of a landmark that lets us know where you are. 

Paula Nurnberg, NATE Chief Operating Officer and Nikki Gronau, NATE Resource Manager support Women of NATE and the Tower Family Foundation at the Minnesota Wireless Association Golf Tournament with Pro Golfer Betsy Kelly.

Upcoming Events

To stay apprised of recent event updates and to view the most comprehensive events listing visit the NATE WIN (Wireless Industry Network) website at www.natewin.org. 

Recent Event Highlights

    9 Tips for Young Women Entering the Workforce

College graduations are coming up, and a whole new breed of young women will be entering the real world. More opportunities exist for women in today’s workplace, but securing that first real job can take a lot of work and be a scary transition. What do today’s young women need to know?

Rene Banglesdorf has worked in the aviation industry—which is predominantly a man’s world—for the past 11 years and is the founder and CEO of Charlie Bravo Aviation. She is also a mentor to women entrepreneurs around the world. For women just finishing school and entering the workforce, Rene offers this advice:  

Be eager to learn, but don’t be a pushover.

After nailing down your first job, you are going to be the new kid on the block. Be willing to take on certain tasks that may seem mundane or beneath you. This is how you slowly work your way up the ladder and build trust with your colleagues and managers. What is not acceptable, however, is being pushed around, especially if you are working in an environment led mostly by men. You are not the coffee girl. You are not there to pick up lunch for the guys. You are not there to tolerate sexist or discriminatory language, or to be talked down to.

Find other women to connect with.

One of the best things you can do in your new job is to meet other women and make connections. Women in the workplace can have an unofficial sisterhood where many look out for one another. The one caveat: be careful who you confide in or what you say to someone else until you are fully sure that that person is your ally.

It’s a different mindset from college.

When you were in school, everything was about you. It was about your grades, your internships, your extracurricular activities, and your ability to learn all you could. The real world is all about your employer and what you can do for them. Take the focus off you and concentrate on the value you can bring to them.

Stay away from comparisons.

Women need other like-minded women in their lives to learn, grow, and hold one another accountable. Don’t ever allow yourself to start comparing your life, success, or anything else about you to others. Analysis, assessment, and appropriation may help you process information, but it will also make you critical and judgmental of yourself. Even worse, it can push you toward jealousy and insecurity.

Play your own game.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. One of the secrets that successful women rely on all the time is playing to their strengths while minimizing their weaknesses. Focus on the skills that make you the all-star that you are. Keep trying to improve on your weaker skills, but allow your strengths to let you stand out from everyone else.

Approach the first job as an opportunity to get your feet wet.

For many of the young women I coach, a common complaint I hear is, “This job is not what I thought it was going to be.” Understand that this is perfectly normal, and oftentimes it takes time and several employment opportunities to find the perfect fit for you. You are not stuck in your first job forever.

Learn to accept criticism.

It’s hard to hear that your skills are not as polished as you thought. When someone gives you feedback that’s not what you want to hear, leave your emotions out of it and use their comments as an opportunity to grow and better your skills. Similarly, realize that you are going to make mistakes along the way. Make sure to learn from them.

Don’t stop learning.

Don’t get caught in the trap that you’ve learned all you need to know in college. You always have more to learn, whether it’s about how your employer does certain things differently from the competition, the latest trends in your industry, or something unique about a client you will be calling upon. All these things can make you stand out and keep your brain active.

Be independent and a team player at the same time.

It’s debated as much as the infamous chicken and egg question: Is it better to be a self-starter and work independently, or is it better to be a team player? The most successful women know the answer is, "both." One of the most valuable job skills you can bring to any profession is being able to work independently when needed but also know when you need to collaborate and be part of the team.