Jordan Peterson has a different cult than Kek. Both national newspapers had weekend features about the U of T professor’s post-pronoun-battle plans. The National Post’s front page explained how Peterson just keeps winning, given how he's currently grossing US$42,000 a month and counting via Patreon. But the Globe and Mail piece roiled Peterson for dissecting his interest in amphibian imagery loved by alt-right types, even implying that the Pepe the Frog cartoon is calling his shots.

Doug Ford is running for whatever. A name on a ballot is now “100 per cent” in DoFo’s plans for 2018, whether it’s a mayoral rematch against John Tory, or running provincially—depending on where his poll numbers are strongest. Chances are, Ford will have an Ontario PC colleague in Brian Mulroney’s daughter, Caroline, who won’t comment on a prospective run for Queen's Park even though someone possibly planted a CBC article about it.

Big rubber duck is an international incident. Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman was so outraged by reports of a $200,000 price tag for a bath toy’s provincial that he cried appropriation of his creation, which he considers public art with no goal of turning a profit. (Rather, his concept involves charging governments for renderings, in order to build their own.) One of the owners of the Ontario-bound duck clapped back by explaining that it’s public domain and how their haul is only half of the expenditure. The contrarian takes have now all but assured that the duck will be the biggest star of Canada 150.

Andrew Scheer stops smirking to correct the record. Multiple opinion pieces about the new Conservative leader initially referenced him once referring to the same-sex marriage bill as “abhorrent,” when Scheer only used that adjective to condemn the government for its own condemnation of a Catholic bishop for speaking out against the bill. Complicated corrections ensued. Now, media outlets are trying to catch up in explaining how he won, as Kellie Leitch's camp is questioning the validity of the results. Scheer now has the floor to himself when it comes to supply management jokes.

The Dish is dissed for warning against roti. The return of the Toronto Star calorie-counting feature—which mainly exists to explain that eating half of something is half as fattening as eating the whole thing—concluded that a boneless chicken wrap from Ali’s Roti Shop in Parkdale is the equivalent of eating 28 McNuggets. Megan Ogilvie’s dissection got two million more views thanks to this eye-rolling tribute:

Capybabies corrupted by corporate cosign. The High Park Zoo’s poll to name the triplet spawn of returned runaway capybara couple Bonnie and Clyde is sure to get international attention if the winning entry sees the rodents named after the three members of Rush: Alex, Geddy and Neil. Somehow, the onomatopoeiac cereal mascots also made the shortlist, unleashing this social media annoyance:

Avie Bennett dead at 89. The real estate developer who saved Canadian publisher McClelland & Stewart from bankruptcy in 1985 donated 75 per cent of the company to the U of T in 2000 and sold a 25 per cent share to German-owned Random House. The non-Canadian book conglomerate ended up owning all of M&S by 2012 while continuing to receive protectionist benefits. (The deal is the focus of Elaine Dewar’s new book, The Handover, outlining the end of the CanLit hustle.)