“Doofy son” from Syracuse found his missing car in a TD Centre garage. Gavin Strickland crossed the border last weekend to see Metallica at the the Air Canada Centre. But when the show was over, the 19-year-old forgot where he was parked (which had happened to him once before in NYC) so his parents offered a $100 reward on Craigslist. The kid took the Greyhound home, but a vague recollection and some viral attention met with success.

Park stair master shows disrespect for taxpayers. Adi Astl is the kind of local hero retiree that the Drudge Report can get behind, after he built a $550 staircase at Tom Riley Park in Etobicoke, despite the fact that the city had estimated between $65,000 and $150,000 to do the job. As the mayor warns against copycats, the tale remains tailor-made for Sue-Ann Levy, now into her second day of covering “Stepgate.” (Joshua Hind, a theatre project manager who has worked for the city, took one look at the Toronto Sun cover photo and counted the ways in which the cheap steps could hurt someone.)

CN Tower’s new mascot is actually trolling you. The world’s former tallest free-standing structure’s newer elements haven’t been received well, from the garish entry pavilion, to new floor-to-ceiling observation deck window walls that appear out of sync on the outside. So, it’s no surprise that a walking CN Tower costume is being guffawed at—even if it’s an improvement over "Diego," 1976's clown on stilts. It all makes sense when you remember that this is aimed at the same market that flocked downtown to see a giant rubber duck:

“I know that Madame Payette is going to make an extraordinary Governor General.” Justin Trudeau reaffirmed his new appointment, even though Payette was charged in 2011 with an assault, which has since been expunged from her record. Also, the Star reports that she was involved in an accident in Maryland four months earlier that killed a visually impaired jaywalker. Meanwhile, on his way out as the GG, David Johnston stumbled into a different scandal when he touched the Queen.

John Roberts says he and the deputy White House press secretary “just kibitz with each other.” The former MuchMusic VJ was praised for storming out of an off-camera breifing by Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who commented that he must’ve been bored. “Well, if it was on camera, I might not be,” snapped the Fox News correspondent. The incident has been portrayed as President Trump’s favourite cable network finally pushing back. Roberts denies that he walked out in a genuine huff, and even kind of defends the need for occasional off-camera briefings.

British rock stars no longer hide that they're just like any other old Englishmen. Days after Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickinson puttered about the Canadian Warplane Heritage Museum, Queen guitarist Brian May spent a post-concert day off gazing at the Don Mills greenery, on what happened to be his 70th birthday. (Metallica, by contrast, spent their night off in the city going to see Queen.)

Universal Music Canada apologizes for not thinking in French. The compilation Canada 150: A Celebration of Music was released three weeks ago. But it displeased those who noticed that its idea of a Quebec artist was Men Without Hats. Universal has apologetically stated that the all-anglo content is “not reflective of our values, and we will take action to remedy the offense." (Naturally, the "PM Mix" playlist attributed to Justin Trudeau on Spotify didn't fail to include three francophone songs, among 39 tracks clouded with strange sadness.)