“He told me that I, you know, he thought that I would look really good on an elephant.” CTV News had the scoop on two women who allege sexual harassment by Ontario PC leader Patrick Brown. Brown responded with a solo press conference (his main aides had just resigned), which ended in him getting chased down the stairs of Queen’s Park, and later resigning his position as head of the party. The stories about his behaviour shed new light on his longtime love of the nightlife around Barrie: despite being a teetotaler, Brown is alleged to have made sexual advances at young, intoxicated women, one of whom says he later offered to take her on a work trip to India. Brown has categorically denied the accusations. Even so, innumerable insiders claimed to be unsurprised:

Michael Bryant sticks up for the unique liberties of the Canadian Civil Liberties Association. As the first notable act in his controversial new role as executive director of the CCLA, the former Ontario attorney general wrote to the Toronto Star to dispute a story that the legal advocacy group is offering legally questionable unpaid internships. Bryant claims the CCLA is one of many charitable organizations reliant on volunteer help—even if what others see is a summer job without pay or benefits.

Even faker news surrounds Barry and Honey Sherman. The Sherman family's non-police investigation provided fodder for a Gateway Pundit story, whose conspiratorial slant links the salacious private eye findings to the fact that Apotex supplied generic drugs to global relief efforts led by the Clinton Foundation. The clickbait has been shared 28,000 times on Facebook. Joe Warmington, meanwhile, encountered actual fake Shermans around their home on Old Colony Road. According to the Night Scrawler, two badly-wigged actors frightened the neighbours while filming re-enactments for The Fifth Estate:

Weed feeders hope to make the industry less racist. Now Magazine highlights “10 pot-repreneurs disrupting marijuana’s white male monopoly.” But there’s some sympathy for the white males, too, with a story arguing that Marc Emery isn’t going away. Less successful might be Instagram star Dan Bilzerian, who helped start the cannabis investment firm Green Axis Capital. He could be on the verge of running afoul of Canadian securities regulators.

“VIC TORY” pays off for the Ice Boy. The week of “Fuddle Duddle” middle fingers aimed at the King Street pilot project culminated in Kit Kat restauranteur Al Carbone springing for one last display to celebrate a successful media blitz. (Now he’s started a petition to find evidence of actual customer opposition). With each ice creation costing between $350 and $750, however, full-time ice sculptor Danny Marchiori is feeling pretty chill:

Amazon could soon crowd out Costco. Seattle’s new checkout-free convenience store, Amazon Go, offers shopping that feels like shoplifting. But just as Costco is about to open at the former Coca-Cola office site in East York, curiosity grows about whether its pick-up model will be killed by Amazon Prime—if only because driving a car to buy massive quantities of stuff risks falling into a generation gap.

Sunrise Records believes $29.99 vinyl is here to stay. The takeover of many HMV mall locations is going well, according to Sunrise president Doug Putnam, although rents still make a Yonge Street location unsustainable. Sam the Record Man nostalgics are therefore stuck schlepping up to a modest table of records at the Eaton Centre Indigo.