Patrick Brown makes his own magazine. The Ontario PCs did away with the need to read inside by using a single image to sum up the party leader's entire "People's Guarantee." The flattering Toronto Star portrayal of Brown suggests that this provincial election will largely be fought through Facebook shitposts—which obliged Liberals to post their own smarmy redesign in response:

Canada’s apologetic image starts at the top. Justin Trudeau will follow Friday’s apology for residential schools in Newfoundland with another one for the past purging of gay public servants. An attempt to audit the apology trend in a New York Times “Canada Letter” doesn’t find the stereotype entirely true: research on 500 motorists pulled over for speeding in each country determined that Americans expressed just slightly less regret

Goodbye to most Toronto media angles on Meghan Markle. The royal engagement announcement included confirmation that Prince Harry and his future bride will live in the two-bedroom Nottingham Cottage, rather than her Toronto house, which has been under surveillance for a year. This royal wedding will come with an eclectic bunch of in-laws—including maybe (but probably not) an estranged half-sister who's writing a book about Meghan. In the meantime, Markle's parents are getting their first taste of issuing official statements that say nothing of importance:

The not-so-great Canadian dead-tree swap. “What makes this particularly difficult is that it means we will say goodbye to many dedicated newspaper people,” Paul Godfrey offered in a statement about a deal that gave Postmedia two dozen titles, of which 23 will be immediately closed. (Exeter Times-Advocate will be their sole survivor.) Meanwhile, Torstar will now run ex-Postmedia papers in St. Catharines, Niagara Falls, Welland and Peterborough, while killing a dozen community titles, and shuttering the commuter daily 24 Hours.

Yellow star slip causes alarm at Canada Post. The first-ever stamp for the Jewish festival of lights was unveiled with a ceremony—but its release date was delayed because of a "design issue” involving its booklet. While the post office wouldn’t comment on what that "design issue" actually was, the change probably relates to the big yellow star—a Holocaust-era motif that has led to clothes being recalled at Holt Renfrew and Gymboree. Some copies of the withdrawn booklet have squeaked through:

“FHRITP” shouter is third-time unlucky. CHCH reporter Britt Dixon received an apology from Mohawk College after her reporting from the school was interrupted by vulgar shouts. But then it happened to her again on Friday, while she was interviewing an officer outside Hamilton's central police station, a convenient place for a 24-year-old from Maryland to be charged with causing a disturbance. Dixon didn’t want him apprehended—but CHCH appreciated having pictures of the perp.

Mr. Dressup is “Canada’s Most Memorable (English) TV Thing.” On what would've been his 90th birthday, Ernie Combs clinched a tournament of nostalgic Canadian TV shows with 62 per cent of the vote over Kids in the Hall. The winner of a third-place run-off was Heritage Minutes—a subject of fascination for the poll's organizer, Justin McElroy of CBC Vancouver. (McElroy sensed Mr. Dressup would prevail after the children's entertainer previously crushed the head of The Friendly Giant.)

Word of the moment


The headline was used and abused on Friday as a moose went wandering around Markham—but, four days later, the search parties still have no idea where it is.

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