Good afternoon.

If you've been in skilled nursing and senior living leadership long enough, you've seen the cycle: the great ones come and go. Some become lifelong friends. Others test your patience. Some leave, and a few even come back better than before.

What no one really prepares you for is this truth: relationships with your team are just as cyclical as relationships outside of work. They evolve, fade, sometimes break, and occasionally return stronger. And it's rarely personal.

Early in my career, I assumed good people would stick around forever. If they left, something must be broken—or worse, it was a betrayal. But with time and hindsight, I saw the pattern: most people aren’t meant to stay in one place for 20 years. And really, how exciting would that be for them?

Sometimes, your best people just need a change—even if they don’t realize it yet. It might show up as attendance issues or declining performance. And that's where real leadership shows up: in our ability to recognize it, meet it with empathy, and not take it personally.

I’ve had aides and nurses leave on what felt like bad terms, only to return months or even years later—stronger, steadier, and ready to re-engage. Why? Because the door was never slammed shut. Because I let them leave with grace. Because they knew they had a place to come back to.

A recent example drove this home again. One of our most reliable aides stopped showing up. I was frustrated, disappointed. But instead of lashing out or cutting ties, we had an honest conversation. She needed change. We left things open. And now? She’s back (after 6 months)—doing excellent work again. Will she be here next year? Maybe not. And that’s OK.

The inexperienced version of me would have blacklisted her from ever working here again.  

Here's the real shift: stop expecting extreme loyalty from roles that aren't designed to offer it. We’re not offering pensions. We can’t always accommodate extended personal leave. So, let’s stop expecting lifelong devotion from people who are often juggling far more than we see.

Once I embraced this mindset, everything changed:

• Attendance improved.
• Retention got better.
• I stopped taking departures personally.
• And I grew as a leader.

Leadership isn't about holding people tight—it’s about holding the door open both ways.

Leading with empathy, without ego, frees everyone to do their best work—however long they’re with you.

Be someone they look back to and say, "Hell yeah, I'd work for that woman/guy again any day."

Make peace with the cycle. You’ll lead better for it.

Whenever you're ready, I can help you in a few ways.

1. Get 1 FREE CEU - Read our partner Viventium's "2026 Healthcare Workforce Management Report" and receive 1 NAB approved CE credit. Read here. 
2. Use our free AI-powered Chatbot trained on all 900 pages of CMS Nursing Home Regulations, proprietary processes, and information from decades of skilled nursing leadership experience.  Click here.
3. Sign up for Assisto and keep track of the regulatory environment in your state.  Know what deficiencies surveyors cite in real-time and ensure you're not at risk for the same tag.  Sign up here.
4. Take our Salary Lens survey and gain access to the largest database of senior living and SNF leadership salaries in the industry.  Check it out here.

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Thanks for reading.  Have a wonderful day.

Kevin Goedeke, Publisher and Founder