Patrick Brown was just trying to meet the right woman. Global News aired the first half of its chat with the former Ontario PC leader, in which he responds to CTV's report on his alleged sexual misconduct. Brown denies any wrongdoing, and he's busy punching holes in his accusers' accounts, even though he won't say the “playboy” portrayal is altogether false. But wait, there's more to come:

The Oost Boost goes to Christine Elliott. We finally know who 20-year-old MP Sam Oosterhoff will be backing in the Ontario PC race: the winner is Elliott, rather than his fellow arch sex-ed opponent Tanya Granic Allen. And yet, it’s Doug Ford who's most staunchly standing against all things Kathleen Wynne, even sending her an anti-Valentine—while the premier got Toronto Star ink for for baring arms.

Political newbie gets a lesson in fast-food diplomacy. Caroline Mulroney is boasting of raising $486,208 in her nine-day leadership run, thanks in part to charging $1,200 to shake her dad's hand. During a whistle stop at Johnny Rocco’s in St. Catharines she made the first blunder of her campaign, by tweeting a video in which she lamented having to pass up “the most delicious Italian buffet” because there were too many people for her to meet. The inferred insult to where she had to turn for food brought on an elite tweet delete:

“I need the same amount of labour to make this breakfast as a steak dinner, but I’m not selling a $90 bottle of wine with a $40 steak.” Tim Dutaud, owner of the Bus Terminal Diner on the East Danforth, is one of eight greasy-spooners featured in Now Magazine. The first-person profiles from behind the grills include details on how the Lakeview Lunch on Dundas West went through “10 or 11 owners” who tried every gimmick before the current ones determined the best one was to stay open all night.

Hedley's sixth Juno Awards performance in 12 years won't be happening. The corporate punk band from Abbotsford, B.C. lost their March 25 CBC show spot after reports on allegations that they’ve preyed upon young fans. Hedley’s statement says the allegations are “simply unsubstantiated and have not been validated.” Nonetheless, they’re off the awards show, despite being nominated three times. “In response to feedback from our listeners, we've adjusted our playlists accordingly and continue to closely monitor the situation,” reads the position from the radio side of Bell Media, while a station in Edmonton is promoting their prohibition:

Pity the fool who fails to appreciate mixed doubles curling. Postmedia columnist Steve Simmons got dunked in 585 Twitter replies for sharing a column where he expressed contempt for Canada’s curling gold medal on the grounds that not all Olympic events are created equal. (The result of so much feedback was an editor’s note about how the initial version contained inaccuracies.) Simmons was fiercely counterpointed in a series of tweets credited to Mr. T, as America’s most famous mohawk marvelled at the sport's Swiffer-like brooms and the on-ice finesse. And now the sport of curling finally has a hashtag for all eternity:

Jack Ludwig dead at 95. The writer, born and raised in Winnipeg, scandalized the University of Manitoba when he published an anti-war poem in 1944. Later, he gained fame for his books on Canadian sports, including Hockey Night in Moscow and Five Ring Circus: The Montreal Olympics. Ludwig had a friendship with Saul Bellow that soured when the former had an affair with the latter’s wife, Sondra, which was duly chronicled in fictional fashion in Bellow’s 1964 book Herzog.