That video “does not do her justice.” The quote comes from a high shool classmate of 19-year-old Marcella Zoia, who has been released on $2,000 bail and forced to live with her mom. Zoia’s lawyer said “peer pressure” may explain the alleged throwing:

“That is not an investigation, that is simply going through the motions.” NDP MP Nathan Cullen sighed after Liberals battened down hatches over SNC-Lavalin. PMO boss Gerald Butts can’t tweet about McGill anymore without getting ratioed.

Scenes from the class struggle on Parliament Hill. Fittingly, the scandal comes against a backdrop of plenty of snow to walk in. Replies to this tweet from the host of CTV’s Power Play verify that dragging elitists is a new preferred winter pastime:

David Assman gets revenge in memory of his third cousin, Dick. A decal simulating the forbidden vanity licence plate is now on the rear of Assman’s truck in Melville, Saskatchewan. The provincial agency that rejected “ASSMAN” even appreciates it.

Cory “Poop” Johnson is here to ensure that everyone can name one Argo. The defensive tackle earned his nickname upon explaining how his fluctuating weight was due to prodigious pooping. He’s the star that the ever-struggling league needs:

Howard Stern Show platonic producers got a Valentine shout-out. Richard Christy and Sal Governale are the current keepers of the Stern legacy of prank calls. But no profane pseudonyms were required to get their relationship sanctified:

MusiquePlus won’t be living to 33. Quebec’s version of MuchMusic launched in September 1986. A decade ago, it separated from the mothership with a different visual identity. But current owner Groupe V Media will shutter its struggling station in August.