Presto cops will be going undercover. The TTC board approved the use of plainclothes fare officers to check for proof-of-payment. Meanwhile, TTC CEO Andy Byford says he’s willing to suck up the blame for Presto's faulty rollout—even if it’s the card's suppliers who can’t figure it out. But there's evidence that they're really trying:

“Lunchtime bandit” search style seems surreal. The hold-up notes passed to five tellers along midtown Yonge Street were “well-written” and used “proper grammar,” explained staff inspector Mike Earl. The threat of a weapon put “the fear of God in bank employees.” Earl described the bandit as “clean-shaven” and a “preppy punk,” prompting Twitter jokes. Would the tone of the police press conference have been different if the bandit had darker skin?

MPP Doogie hopes the door will hit this hack on the way out. Keith Leslie, the Queen’s Park chief for the Canadian Press, is retiring next week. The final new MPP he got to interrogate lived up to his intemperate adolescent image with this salutation:

Richard Florida asks once more: “WWJJD?” Jane Jacobs’ 2005 book, Dark Age Ahead, foreshadowed President Trump, concludes Florida. (The New Urban Crisis, Florida’s book recanting his past creative-class optimism, comes out in April, having received a hasty rewrite to acknowledge the U.S. election results.)

Fake Fashion Santa isn't available for comment. Yorkdale refused to furnish its replacement beardo, Adam Martin, for a story in 24 Hours. But there are intimations that a settlement with Paul Mason, the original Fashion Santa, might land him back on the mall patrol next year. Besides, the fill-in was never really fooling anyone.

"It’s kind of like an old Polish grandmother.” An ex-employee of Shomi tries to explain how the culture of the shuttered streaming service compared to the ethos of Rogers, its corporate mothership. The source of the quote now works in another department at the telecom. (Which explains why the names have been changed in this tell-all.)

“Hallelujah” assaults the chart for Christmas. Leonard Cohen wanted covers of his song stopped, then later changed his tune. Sadly, he’s no longer around to have an opinion about the version of the song by the a cappella quintet Pentatonix (imagine Color Me Badd with a female member added), which is helping make their album the most popular one in America.