What did you do in the bidding war, daddy? Bloomberg News profiles the frustration of three couples in pursuit of home ownership. Among them is a pension fund manager, just in case you assumed those who work with money could've more easily figured out how to get ahead in this game.

Filth City filmmakers draw a death warrant. “Make sure he is not crossing the street when I am driving down the road,” Doug Ford told CP24. He was referring to whoever is to blame for a comedy inspired by his brother’s crack scandal. But director Andy King claims Rob was actually amenable to the idea of doing a cameo. In any case, the flap has given Doug another opportunity to promote the Ford Nation political brand. Next up, a public party to mark one year since the death of RoFo.

A child’s first protest. Mayor John Tory attended a before-the-bell demonstration at John Fisher Public School near Yonge and Eglinton, where parents are incensed about a 35-storey tower next door. (They're imagining items falling off balconies and onto the heads of children, among other things.) As usual, the Ontario Municipal Board is being portrayed as the villain—although it just struck down the most despised part of a nearby townhouse development that the locals characterized as “Density Creep.” Either way, hand-drawn protest placards look far more charming when held by kids:

Scratch lottery ticket thief wins nothing but broken arms and broken legs. Rabba Fine Foods at Front and Blue Jays Way, near the Rogers Centre, opted not to press charges after a 26-year-old man who swiped a tray of instant-win tickets plunged 30 feet and injured himself. The alleged culprit was cornered in a street chase with store employees and apparently ended up slipping as his vigilante pursuers were trying to help him up.

Real Housewives of Toronto is ready to undo all the good work of that tourist commercial. Right after Tourism Toronto released a new video advertisement designed to cast the city in a cooler light, we're now enduring the debut of a local edition of the Real Housewives reality show franchise—a sure stimulus for television recap writing and haughty criticism. Good thing the housewives have access to the Corus in-house news operation, which looks eager to report on their emotional evolutions:

Paul Shaffer is ready to work again. While David Letterman is happy being an old beardo, his former CBS Orchestra is starting a comeback, reclaiming their NBC-era handle for an album, Paul Shaffer & the World’s Most Dangerous Band. The leader talks it up in the New York Times with a standard tale about nursing his musical ambitions while growing up in Thunder Bay. (Also, he reveals that his ringtone is a song he co-wrote, “It’s Raining Men.”) And here, a cheerful cartoon featuring another old sidekick:

Alison Pill is the most famous product of the Republic of Rathnelly. An interview in the Village Post finds the actress taking pride in being from the midtown neighbourhood, which claimed independence from the rest of Canada in 1967 as a protest against the Spadina Expressway. Mind you, she doesn’t have much to say about it, having grown up there between its founding and when it got recognized on street signs. (The Republic will be having its 50th anniversary bash on June 17.)

Word of the moment


Marc and Jodie Emery’s chain of pot shops was raided this morning after the couple was arrested at Pearson International Airport.

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