12:36 kicks off a new season with this roughly chronological recap of 36 stories from 2017. Share it with anyone who needs to catch up! (Subscribe for more via 1236.ca.)

1. "Hooker Harvey's" looked like a condo casualty, but it turned out the development application involves building around it, leaving it as the jewel of the intersection.

2. Serial squirrel chocolate bandits were caught on tape at Luke's Grocery on Logan Avenue, sparking a campaign to stop the stealing—or simply subvert the news media.

3. Kevin O'Leary looked like a supervillian just before joining the Conservative leadership race, as he watched the competition debate in a language he doesn't want to speak.

4. The Pursuit of Happiness parking lot, at which the 1986 "I'm An Adult Now" music video was shot, turned into a construction site for Mountain Equipment Co-Op.

5. Kellyanne Conway's inaguration coat in Holt Renfrew's window provided an initial indication of how things related to President Donald Trump would be received.

6. "The Trump Effect" was a CBC Marketplace attempt to test the Canadian appetite for racist T-shirts. (After complaints, the episode was condemned by the broadcaster's ombudsman.)

7. Mayor John Tory made himself a meme after the premier turned down his road toll plan.

8. "The Tupac" was a secret menu item at Run and Gun Coffee, featuring five shots of espresso and five milk bullet holes—at least until word got out about its existence.

9. "Cuck" entered the Canadian political lexicon, thanks to Kellie Leitch's campaign manager, Nick Kouvalis, who left the crew after deeming himself a distraction.

10. Locals Only apologized for a sign behind the bar, designed by a swiftly terminated staff member, and promised to never be publicly shamed again.

11. Justin Trudeau got the Donald Trump handshake, although he focused on making friends with Ivanka instead. (They met again at Come From Away.)

12. "I Eat a Picture of Jason Segel's Face Everyday Until He Eats a Picture of Me" has now been going for two months; Segel has yet to eat a picture of Noah Maloney. 

13. McDonald's all-day breakfast became a reality across Canada, eclipsing any Tim Hortons cup contest news, and inspiring at least one crucial piece of stunt journalism.

14. Pineapple-on-pizza creator struck back at Iceland's president, who'd prefer to banish the topping.

15. "The Sticker Lady" keeps it real with her time-tested solicitation scheme, undaunted by surrounding retailers getting more luxurious.

16. Subway wants the CBC to pay up for a Marketplace report that found about half the chain's chicken wasn't actually chicken. (Before heading to the courts, the sandwich maker tried to defend itself in print.)

17. A&W opened up in the Junction, with a franchise all set to serve an upgraded neighbourhood—ending an excruciating wait for one fast-food enthusiast:

18. Kellie Leitch showed off her viral video talents with an outline of her plans to screen for "Canadian values." The video was really all about the wistful pauses. 

19. Khizr Khan claimed a travel ban was keeping him out of Canada, even though that wasn't actually true. Before the claim was debunked, it caused another cross-border conflagration.

20. "Red Pill" was perceived as an alt-right dogwhistle to Bernier Bros, after the Conservative leadership hopeful used it in a meme. He later said it was simply about The Matrix.

21. The PMO's social media signalling backfired when Sophie Trudeau suggested holding your man's hand for International Women's Day, leading to a block-of-text mea culpa. 

22. The Kingsway Theatre's backpack flap started when an actress claimed she was discriminated against. The owner argued the accusation was straight outta Nineteen Eighty-Four. 

23. Senator Don Meredith's last social media posting before getting censured was a paean to the wife who stuck by him despite his unethical affair.

24. The Hard Rock Café will be replaced by a Shoppers Drug Mart, similar to how the Brunswick House became a Rexall—a trend that has led politicians to consider an intervention.

25. Niki Ashton apologized for cultural appropriation after Black Lives Matter Vancouver told the NDP leadership candidate to back off from the R&B hyperbole.

26. Maclean's column about Quebec's "social malaise" broke a punditry record after its author, Andrew Potter, stepped down from his McGill directorship.

27. A "we are not being invaded" tweet crash landed when Toronto Police apologized for being flippant in a public safety alert.

28. Garth Drabinsky's bid-for-redemption musical Sousatzka opened to lousy reviews before a theatre whose seats were filled with free tickets for blood donors.

29. Food Basics showed off the art of boudoir BBQ with a provocative Facebook post that generated considerable backlash—but also a rare resolution to not delete it.

30. Leah McLaren's deleted breastfeeding column confession was never fully addressed by the Globe and Mail, even if the father of the baby in question got over it.

31. Ryerson's president apologized to the mayor of Niagara Falls because students made a critical short film about the city.

32. Lauren Southern's declaration of independence from Rebel Media found her heralded as a force in the White House briefing room, and as an Oval Office influencer.

33. Conservative Party of Canada has raised its shitposting game as it awaits a new leader, aiming for the social media surreality that helped to boost Trump.

34. Jian Ghomeshi returned with The Ideation Project and met with widespread indifference, though he does seem to be nurturing a new set of fans.

35. Federal marijuana legislation was unveiled with a snarl, leading to more questions than answers about how it can work, as some wonder whether it will lead to more prohibition than before.

36. HMV has vanished from 333 Yonge Street, ending 26 years of corporate music retail. And now we know which movies this city wouldn't buy for a buck or two.