Conservative party membership drive dies in darkness. Thanks to Leah McLaren’s indiscretion, Michael Chong was a trending topic in the final hours of Conservative party registration before the leadership vote in May—but that didn't stop others from battling for eyeballs. Brad Trost’s team sent out emails trumpeting his discomfort with “gay people having gay sex,” Kellie Leitch was accused of firing a Nazi-era handgun (which turned out to be untrue) and modern-rock enthusiast Erin O’Toole emerged as the actual caucus favourite. Not to be left behind, Kevin O’Leary’s pre-deadline pitch focused on biting hands that once fed him. (Just like Donald Trump!)

The National’s countdown to the post-Peter Mansbridge era nears its end. Three months before the anchorman takes his leave, no new main face has been announced (despite that story from Trinidad). The farewell tour is well underway. While Mansbridge’s legacy is up for debate, a graph that chartsThe National's downward viewership for the past quarter-century kinda speaks for itself.

“The innuendo of guilt due to the unjustified and illegal suspension hangs over me like a dark cloud of doom.” Roel Bramer, the nightlife impresario behind several debauched bars of days gone by, is at the centre of a storm at the midtown Toronto Lawn Tennis Club. At issue is Bramer’s alleged inebriation after dinner and drinks with Senator Nicole Eaton and her husband, Thor—after which Bramer had another glass of wine before fighting off a manager trying to block him from his car. (The club will lift Bramer's suspension if he promises not to drive there again, but he's suing.)

Airbnb regulatory push heralded with a Toronto horror story. The city has started public consultations on how to deal with short-term rentals. Meanwhile, Airbnb is making feel-good videos about how it helps subsidize stuff like selling whimsical hats. But here’s the story of an Airbnb user who thought he was renting his pad to a “nice family,” only to find $21,000 of stuff ransacked, a hard drive deleted, dirty dishes in the sink and used condoms on the floor. Even his sock drawer was violated.

Nelly Furtado comeback driven by promiscuous publicists. For what’s being billed as a turn into the underground, there’s an awful lot of mainstream ink for the release of The Ride, including interviews where Furtado talks about taking a playwriting course at U of T under her middle name, “Kim,” and working the counter at Cosmos Records. The media saturation campaign even included a turn on Larry King Now, which airs on Russia Today. Behold as Larry is perplexed by the concept of more than two genders—not that Nelly disagrees for the time being:

Seinfeld pop-up fantasy is finally realized, sort of. Last year's scheme to simulate the sitcom in a nightlife setting, which crashed and burned amidst conflicting cover-up stories, will get a calmer one-night whirl in Bloordale. D-Beatstro has a themed menu for the occasion, but because it’s a vegan restaurant, it includes Kenny Rogers Fried Seitan “Chicken” and Chickpea “Tuna” on Toast, with black and white cookies and muffin tops for dessert. (Next month, a similar dinner is for Boy Meets World.)

The search for actual McPizza is as fruitless as ever. Three bros from London, Ontario were inspired by the discovery that at least two McDonald’s franchisees in the U.S. kept making pizza after a trial period ended in the early-‘90s. So, they drove 500 miles to Spencer, West Virginia to eat it on YouTube, fuelled by nostalgia for the Canadian iteration that came and went. But while the video has received coverage everywhere from Fox News to Teen Vogue, nobody wants to talk about the fact that the surviving McD's pie is an entirely different recipe.