The kind of headline that money can buy. “THEY WERE MURDERED,” read the Toronto Star front attached to Kevin Donovan's reporting on the latest from a “variety of experts” hired by the family of Barry and Honey Sherman to probe their violent deaths. The conclusion isn’t a shock—even the National Enquirer insinuated as much in December. But the lack of confirmation from police sources or the family’s lawyer left Joe Warmington, who first reported on the murder-suicide theory, to question the credibility of the reported findings:

Denzil Minnan-Wong rubber stamped to run for Queen’s Park. The deputy mayor was acclaimed as the Ontario PC candidate for Don Valley East, currently held by Liberal cabinet minister Michael Coteau. He'll join fellow councillors Shelley Carroll and Chin Lee, who are also running provincially.

Kit Kat’s middle finger enters the meme machine. The theatre district bistro never received this much attention prior to its “Fuddle Duddle” stunt to protest the King Street Pilot. The flap has become a preview of Doug Ford’s mayoral campaign, with Giorgio Mammoliti along for the bird-flipping ride. The duo seem to work from the same script—which now extends to an editorial cartoon style frequently seen in Mammo's media missives:

“If you’re threatening her, stop. Try to be civilized in your criticism. Words, people, words. Remember those?” Jordan Peterson appealed to any Twitter followers who might've sent harrassing messages to U.K. Channel 4 presenter Cathy Newman after security experts were called in following their debate. Meanwhile, an Edmonton book launch for Peterson found a new venue. (A theatre that declined the initial request conceded it could’ve rebuffed him in a “far better way.”)

Ontario Place becomes an even more dystopian draw. Despite promises of a full revival, the recent history of the waterfront park has included observing its abandoned water rides and celebrating its surreal abandoned state. Only one revitalized slice has opened so far. Getting back to winter business at the Cinesphere hasn’t meant sprucing up the bridge on the way there, as lamented in Reddit photos:

Shoppers Drug Mart is sticking it to the patriarchy. The new OHIP+ plan, offering free prescriptions to all under 25, is the greatest traffic driver since free flu shots. SDM is advertising with posters calling out “HEY, MOM!” And naturally, people on Twitter are complaining about gender discrimination—even though a “HEY, DAD!” version exists—resulting in repeated replies from HQ:

Viceland is being deleted from the Rogers cable dial. The specialty channel, which launched in Canada two years ago, with access to then-CEO Guy Laurence’s deep leather-jacketed pockets, will cease broadcasting on March 31. Vice Media spins it as gaining control for new partnerships—like a documentary on the opioid crisis for CTV’s W5.