“When it comes to defending his cannabis plan, he might as well be in the witness protection program.” Doug Ford took aim at Justin Trudeau right before Ontario became a weed dealer, with over 38,000 orders overnight. Meanwhile, officers fearing a new era of needless distraction recruited a stock photo icon to help with the timely memes:

A non-existent term for 10/17 now lives in infamy. “Canadians are calling it C-Day,” tweeted New York Times reporter Catherine Porter to promote her coverage—even though there was no evidence of anyone calling it that. Elsewhere, the news media weed fixation ranges from a SUNshine Girl named “Mary Jane,” to Canopy Growth flying reporters on its own plane to witness a first sale in St. John’s.

Faith Goldy lost her bid to get mayoral campaign spots broadcast. Efforts from lawyer Clayton Ruby to get the Ontario Superior Court to enforce Goldy’s interpretation of the CRTC's equal airtime advertising policy for candidates were squashed. Goldy is now shifting her self-promotion to the Chinese community. She has also won the hypothetical vote of a real congressman from Iowa:

Toronto Star city council picks buck a bit of the status quo. For example, the Star editorial board picked Lily Cheng over John Filion, a sitting councillor who endorsed her before he un-retired back into the race. And yet, Norm Kelly is favoured over Jim Karygiannis in Agincourt, with admonition that Kelly “should strive to think big again.”

Union Station’s upgrade has a personal injury lawyer hovering over it. A woman who was struck by a falling piece of concrete in the GO Train concourse intends to sue. It’s just the latest reminder of the interminable renovation process, whose signs of completion so far include an odd analog clock:

“You Get What You Give” two decades after the fact. Felix Catral's cover version of the 1998 track has been a Cancon radio staple for the past year. The fleeting life of the song's originating act might’ve peaked at Lee’s Palace, where the New Radicals played their hit twice in a night—shortly before the band’s frontman deliberately logged himself off:

The man who allegedly swam naked with sharks gets arrested in Thunder Bay. A former colleague of David Weaver of Nelson, B.C. says the Ripley’s dive is in line with his character. Kevin O’Leary still believes Weaver would be a failure on Shark Tank.