Prince Philip runs out of great-grandad jokes. Fake news about a middle-of-the-night meeting at Buckingham Palace made some people wonder if tabloid headlines were coming true, necessitating the deployment of the long-rehearsed Queen death strategy. But, for now, all royals remain alive. The buzz was about the Duke of Edinburgh deciding he’s had enough of chuckles for claiming to be "the world’s most experienced plaque unveiler.”

What happens if you steal my sunshine. The effect of Toronto's building boom on the ability of city residents to feel that big yellow thing in the sky will be a topic of discussion at architect Paul Kulig's Jane’s Walk, which will be focused on sunny sides of downtown that he worries are endangered. 

Bravo pasta petition makes discontinued food rage a real Canadian trend. CTV News contributed to the CBC's national conversation about Dad’s chocolate chip cookies and Skippy peanut butter by finding a guy who’s mad that he can’t find the comforting madre mascot on shelves anymore. Kraft Heinz explains that the sauce was made at the same shuttered Leamington plant whose lack of ketchup patriotism caused a kerfuffle last year—and there wasn’t enough demand to keep distributing it. The angry signatories are insisting otherwise:

A few anchors have dropped at Torstar. Desmond Cole announced that he’s quit writing for the Toronto Star after being told that he can’t be both an activist and journalist—a duality that others seem to sustain. (CBC offered Cole a similar gig on the spot.) Cole’s departure eclipsed coverage of Torstar’s annual general meeting, at which new CEO John Boynton busted out the buzzwords like nobody’s business.

The problem with planting a precious box of books on your front lawn. Little Free Libraries have been a favourite topic for bourgeois boulevardiers, but Ryerson librarian Jane Schmidt is on a tear against them, for reasons explained in her paper in the Journal of Radical Librarianship. Geographic information specialist Jordan Hale, whom Schmidt met on Twitter, mapped out how the birdboxes predominantly appear in rich areas of Toronto and represent “neoliberal politics at street level.”

Dart Guy is going the distance. Jason Maslakow’s spotlight didn’t dim after the Leafs were eliminated from the playoffs. Instead, he found new angles, like a sponsorship deal with Nicorette to curb his dart desire. Also, it looks like he’s being invited everywhere: not just to talk hockey, but also football, lacrosse and rugby games. The real validation came when he was billed right alongside other semi-legendary local luminaries for McHappy Day:

The Senate gets a distraction from scandal. The Red Chamber did its part to repeal changes made by the Conservatives that allow Canada to revoke citizenship from dual citizens convicted of serious crimes. Meanwhile, senators await word on whether Don Meredith will resign. (Because of an editing error, yesterday’s 12:36 said, incorrectly, that the Senate had never suspended any members before. Several senators have been suspended relatively recently—all three got to come back in time.)