Counting Your Yes's
I spoke last week at Ax Church in La Salle, Illinois, on the topic of Counting Your Yes's. If you need a new outlook on life, a new way of looking at your situation, I hope you'll watch this message. In it, I share some very personal stories of thanking God for His "No's," and the incredible value of Counting Your
"Yes's." You can read my notes below, or watch the whole message online at this link:
https://youtu.be/xD-NXn3XYjU
Here are my notes...
THANKING GOD FOR HIS NO'S
I was at a church service for Christmas one morning when Christmas fell on a Sunday, and we were asked to write on a slip of paper something for which we were thankful. An elderly friend of mine was sitting next to me, and I was amazed when she shared what she had written on her paper. She had written: “I’m thankful, God, for your No’s.”
She was in her 80’s, was living alone, and had never married. As I talked to her more, I learned that someone had proposed to her when she was young, but when she asked God about it, she felt God said, No. It would have brought her wealth. Companionship. Maybe children.
He’s still alive. She still knows where he is. She still thinks about him. But she is able to say, on Christmas Day, “I’m thankful for Your No’s.”
Jesus prayed to His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night before He died:
“My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from Me.”
He didn’t want to drink of it if He didn’t have to. But then He added:
“Yet I want Your will to be done, not Mine.” (Matthew 26:39)
And because He died, I can live.
“I’m thankful, God, for Your No’s.”
JOB AND PAUL’S STORY
It makes me think of Job who, after losing his oxen and donkeys and sheep and camels and servants and finally his sons and daughters, then he fell to the ground in worship saying,
“I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!” (Job 1:21)
I think of Paul who said,
“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:12-13)
What was their secret? How did Paul do it? How did Job do it? How did Jesus do it? How did my 80 year old friend do it?
The answer’s just prior to Pauls words about the secret, in Philippians 4:4-9:
“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
STARTING WITH THANKS
One practical way I do this is in my daily journal. For years, I’ve started with these words, “Father, thank You...” then I continue with something for which I’m truly thankful. I tell Him my needs, too, as this verse says to do. But somehow by starting with “Thank you, it helps me stop and think about something for which I’m truly thankful. And it changes me. It slows me down. It helps me reflect on what’s most important.
MONEY CREEK
There’s a creek on a road where I often drive called Money Creek. Any idea why it’s called Money Creek? Because there’s a bank on each side. Whenever I drive over it, I hold my hands up and open, (while still holding the steering wheel), and I say, “Thank You for the money you’ve given me to get this far. I pray for more to keep going." It’s a bit like, "Thank You, Lord, for this daily bread," and trusting Him to provide the next day’s, too.
LIST OF HEALINGS
I once wondered why I didn’t see more miraculous healings in my life when I prayed for people. I had seen some, but not as many as I wanted to see. A friend said, “Believe me, the more you pray for healings, the more you’ll see them.” So I prayed more. And I started to keep a list.
I continued praying, as I often did, but now I wrote down those healing prayers, along with God’s answers. I prayed for my child’s cold to go away, and it did. A cough to stop, so they could sleep, and it did. Aches and pains to be gone, and they were. Bones to be repaired, surgeries to heal, the list went on and on in just a few weeks’ time! I realized just how many times God healed, and all of them miraculous, all of them helpful, all of them answers to prayer.
If you cut a piece of cloth, it doesn’t repair itself. But God has wired us for healing. And our prayers and care help facilitate that. Keep praying for healing, and you’ll see it more and more.
Paul goes on to say:
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you” (Phil 4:4-9).
So... how else do you do this practically? I think there are a lot of ways. Here’s another one that’s helped me recently. Instead of fixating on my No’s, I’ve start counting my Yes’s.
STARTING A MEN’S GROUP
I’ve wanted to start a men’s group, jotting down names of men I’d like to invite. I’ve been jotting down names for a few years, but I’ve never started.
I wanted about a dozen guys, maybe two dozen. My list had grown to about 70 men. But I was afraid to ask.
To give you some context, several years ago I started a group at the church where I attend for people dealing with certain struggles in their lives. I was a bit afraid to announce the group because I felt the group would be swamped with people (we have over 5,000 in our church). But I did announce it, and the first week when I showed up, you know how many people were there? Zero. Not even 1.
The second week, 0. The third, 0. The 4th, 5th, 6, and 7th, none. For 10 weeks I sat there in the room alone. Praise God, the 11th week, 2 showed up, then 3. We never got more than 4 or 5, and met for a full year with those God sent.
As John the Baptist said:
"A person can receive only what is given them from heaven" (John 3:27).
Also for context, a year later I was in a men’s group of about a dozen guys. It was rich, vibrant, and fun. I loved it. And so did the other guys.
The time came for the group to end, but none of us wanted it to end. I offered to continue it, and many said Yes. The next week, I sat in the room at the appointed time. Alone. I sat there for an hour and a half alone. And we never met again.
A year later, the same thing happened. I announced a group, set a date, and not one person came.
So that’s the context. I was afraid to ask about this new men’s group. What if no one showed up?
But I decided to ask anyway, praying for a dozen to say Yes. If so, then I’d start. Two dozen would be wonderful, if possible. I bought 25 booklets for the group, I kept praying for 25 people to say Yes.
I began to ask, and here’s what I did. I determined in my heart to count my Yes’s and not worry about the No’s or non-responses.
I started getting Yes’s from several men. 1, 2, 3, 4. Soon I was up to a dozen. I had some No’s, too, and some non-responses, but I didn’t count those. I only counted the Yes’s, trusting that God would bring who He wanted to bring.
As the day approached for the first group, I had 21, 22, 23. 24. I said, “Lord, my extravagant ask was for 25. Bring 25 if You want 25. Fifteen minutes before the study started, a man texted and said, “If it’s not too late, I’d like to come.”
I said, “It’s not too late, you’re right on time!” I told him later he was number 25 of the 25 I prayed for.
How do you rejoice always? Be content in all circumstances? Stop counting your No’s. And start counting your Yes’s. Psalm 103:2-5 says this:
“Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!” (Psalm 103:2-5)
THE MIDAS TOUCH
Just in case you think its good fortune that has turned things around for me, I assure you that’s not the case! Just last week on Wednesday night I showed up to a group I started for Christian musicians to teach them how to put their music online, to bless others and receive blessings back themselves.
All year I’ve been offering this class, for free, once a month, for anyone who wants to learn how to do it. But last week, when 7 PM came, I sat in my zoom room for the class, alone. I recorded my message anyway and posted it online for anyone who might come along later. Even though I sat there and wondered why more people didn’t come, I also knew enough to just keep going. I was content to talk to my camera alone. If no one ever watches it, that’s OK. I’m just making it available if people want it. (It’s on my YouTube channel in case you’re interested, at ericelder.com under the playlist "Online Christian Music Group.)
No one showed up, but I just keep moving on. I’m counting my Yes’s, not my No’s.
A friend of mine seems to have the Midas touch, meaning that it seems everything he touches turns to gold. But another friend who also knows him well told me one day, “It isn’t that everything he touches turns to gold. It’s just that he touches a lot of things.”
MY NEW MUSICAL
I recently announced I'll be staging a new musical in Streator, Illinois, this Christmas. (Here's the 1-minute announcement: https://youtu.be/nL77UtJ4bV0) It sounds great and wonderful. But what I didn’t share was all the No’s that preceded getting to this point.
I had asked churches and theater companies in Normal, Peoria, Henry, Indiana, Texas. All said No. They all had their reasons. But it didn’t make it any easier.
I finally decided at the end of last year that I would do it at my house. I’ve got a big barn out in the country that I thought I could fix up, make a stage, and invite people to sit in my yard on lawn chairs. I would do "Christmas in July" and hold it outdoors. If no one else wanted to do it, I wanted to do it! And one way or another, I was going to do it.
In the midst of cleaning up my barn, I heard back from several churches in Streator. They said Yes, they wanted to do it! I was stunned. Someone said Yes. So I said Yes. And we’re going forward.
And God did something special with that Yes just last week. I asked the manager of the auditorium if they had a piano there, because if they did, I thought that maybe I’d play the piano along with the other musicians during the show, since I wrote all the songs. If they didn’t have a piano there, I wouldn’t.
I have to tell you, I can really only play my piano at home. I freeze up anywhere else on any other instrument. It’s hard for me to play a digital keyboard. And while I can play other pianos, they don’t feel the same to me, they don’t sound the same, and it throws me off. Years ago, God gifted me with a beautifully restored 1910 Steinway Model B grand piano. It’s unique and very special to me.
So I asked the manager if they had a piano and if it was an upright or a grand. They did, she said, and it was a grand. I asked if I could come see it. So last Wednesday I went to the auditorium to see it. Even though I had been to the auditorium just a few weeks earlier, I hadn’t seen a piano anywhere. It turns out that's because they keep it in a temperature and humidity controlled room backstage. It’s on wheels so they can wheel it out anytime.
When the manager unlocked the door, I saw that the piano was not only a grand, it was a Steinway grand. A Model B, as far as I could tell. I sat down to play it. And it was gorgeous. It was as close to mine at home as any I had ever seen before. I asked if I could examine it to find the serial number because you can tell the date by the number.
When I got to my car, I looked it up. It was a 1908 Steinway, just two years older than mine. They could be sisters. I wanted to cry. I don’t know anyone else who owns a Steinway piano. I’ve never seen another here in Illinois except in a piano showroom. But there, backstage at the Streator auditorium—the ONLY place that said Yes—was sitting a 1908 Steinway grand piano.
“I thank You, God, for your No’s. There’s only one Yes that matters. And that’s the Yes that You want me to have."
GOLD STARS AND LITTLE WINS
I’ll share one more story.
I was in the hospital about 2 years ago for 10 days. I had just had open heart surgery. After the surgery, every day was a battle. A battle to breathe, to eat, to stand, to go to the bathroom. As is often the case, in order to go home, I had to be able to do 2 things: to walk around the nurses station by myself. And to go #2. I couldn’t do either.
Every day, I’d try, multiple times, but couldn’t do either.
When I finally did both, I was elated. I told my kids, “I need a sticker book! Gold stars. Anything to keep me going.”
That night, in the middle of the night, my friend and colleague at our church, Nicki Green, showed up with this a journal. Inside, it said in big letters: “Eric’s Gold Stars and Little Wins.”
Nicki wrote on the inside: “Dear Eric, So this may be a little over the top, but when I’m asked to provide a journal with gold starts for little wins - this is what you get! :) I will continue to pray for God to do a miraculous work in your heart as He brings complete healing.” She wrote a little more, then closed with this: “I look forward to hearing you share with me the answered prayers and “little wins” through your healing journey! Get well my friend! Praying with you, Nicki.”
I started filling it up with stars, having my kids write in it for me because I could hardly do anything for myself.
- “Discharged.” 1 big star.
- “Took off all the tape.” 1 big star and 4 little ones.
- “Arrived home.” A huge blue ribbon.
- “Made it to the 2nd floor! 16 steps!” 16 stars.
- “First shower in 10 days! 1 hour, 2 boys helping.” 9 stars.
- “Made it through 1 week at home.” A whole page full of stars.
- “Took bandaids off.” 10 stars. (That hurt.)
This one I really felt I earned: “Survived a visit to the ENT.” The Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor had to put a scope up my nose to look down my throat. I felt it was going right through my brain on the way up my nose before it curved back down into my throat. I grabbed the doctor's arm and held on tight until my son, Bo, came up and I grabbed his arm so the doctor could do his work!
On my way out of the office, I saw they had some Finding Nemo stickers on the desk. I asked if I could have one. It says, “I was a brave patient.” I love that sticker. :)
When I was telling my daughter, Makari, about my journal, she said, “I need a sticker book, too!” And she got one.
This past Christmas, at the end of 2020, Makari gave me a Christmas present. It was a whole journal with a pack of gold stars in the back that I could add to it.
Inside the front cover, she wrote, “We made it,” and put a gold star.
“We made it?” I asked.
“Through 2020," she said.
Sometimes we need a whole pack of stickers.
Maybe it seems childish. But wasn’t it Jesus who said,
“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3, NIV)
Maybe we could all use a little more "faith like a child."
COUNTING YOUR YES'S
I’m counting my Yes’s. I hope you will, too.
Then, like Jesus, you’ll say:
“Yet I want Your will to be done, not Mine.”
Like Job, you’ll say:
“The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!”
Like Paul, you’ll say:
“I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little," and “Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.”
Like David, you’ll say:
“Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things He does for me.” (Psalm 103:1-2)
And like Makari, you’ll say:
“We made it.”
Keep counting your Yes’s.
And maybe get yourself a pack of gold stars. :)
