October Newsletter

From Chris Clarke, CEO 

FALLING ASLEEP ON OUR FRIENDS

Every year, our church home group goes away together for a weekend. One much-anticipated tradition is the Saturday evening dinner question, which elicits answers rich in humour, pathos, and insight. Over the years, we have shared stories of:

• ‘The best song ever written’ (which is, of course, the live version of U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, complete with gospel choir who steal the stage).
• ‘My most heroic moment’ – some interpreted this question ironically, while others proved the adage that we live among heroes and seldom realise.
• ‘The conversation that changed my life’ – try that one out on your friends.

This year, the topic was ‘My second best friend’ – just in case people were tempted to choose Jesus or their partner! Some lovely stories emerged, but there was also a shared wistfulness, as many of us confessed we had neglected old friends in favour of our careers and family demands, or had lost contact when moving towns.

CS Lewis writes in his wonderful book The Four Loves: “Eros will have naked bodies; friendship naked personalities.” Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, asks his friends to stay awake while he goes off to pray. Here, the humanity of Jesus – ‘his naked personality’ – is fully on display. He returns to find his friends fast asleep. There were many agonies for Jesus that night, but surely this moment was one of the most agonising, realising he was utterly alone.

I am guilty of falling asleep both on Jesus and on my second-best friend. It’s never intentional, and that is part of the challenge. Yes, our roles are demanding. Yes, we often prioritise the needs of family ahead of our own, in the belief we are doing the right thing. But we impoverish ourselves and fail our friends as a result. It is not a price we are expected to pay. Maintaining friendships has to be intentional – a part of the rule of our life.

On Monday night, I caught up with my oldest friend – we first met at Kendal Kindy when we were four years old. It’s been a while between catch-ups, but it felt like yesterday. Whereas once we talked about tramping, girls, and rugby, on Monday night it was all about family, ageing parents, and vegetable gardens. We were both fully awake to each other, and it was good.

Chris Clarke

PS: We’d love to know what you would choose for the best song ever written. Let us know, and we will publish the Wilberforce playlist in next month’s news.

Christian Women in Governance Network

Over recent months, we have heard many conversations about a lack of input and networking opportunities for Christian women who are in governance roles. There is an existing market for learning around governance skills—however, we've also identified a specific desire for greater support for the formation of women in governance in for-purpose, Christian faith-based contexts.  

At this initial meeting, discussion will be held about what participants would appreciate from this network.

For further information, email Charlotte: hello@charlottecummings.nz

To sign up to attend the initial meeting, please follow this link: